


Cross my Heart and Hope to Die

by Anonymonimus



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insanity, M/M, References to Suicide, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-09
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-08 00:22:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/754800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymonimus/pseuds/Anonymonimus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILERS FOR MOVIE FOLLOWERS</p><p>Post Bofa: no one is dead but Bilbo is still exiled from Erebor, bearing the hatred of his love and his friends. When Bilbo is at his weakest, the One Ring attempts to take control of it. It wants to return to its master no matter the cost. Thus Bilbo is plagued with sinister whispers of a place called Dol Guldur where reminents of Sauron remain. But will those who first provoked Bilbo's poor mental state realise their mistake and come aid their small friend in his time of need? Or will Bilbo succumb to the Ring's will?</p><p>BAGGINSHIELD</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alone in Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> **Yayyy new chapter story :D**
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> **WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS TO THE END OF THE MOVIES (so you people who wanted to follow the movies, don't read this because it'll basically ruin a few things that I didn't alter from the ending)**
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> **HOBBIT KINK MEME FILL: _Post BoFa: everyone lives, but Bilbo is still banished as Thorin remained in the throes of the gold fever_**
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> ****  
> _Bilbo returns home, reasonably upset over losing the love he had with Thorin. It sends him into a depression, but not what makes him want to stop living by any chance._  
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> ****  
> _The Ring, however, is._  
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> ****  
> _When he's at his lowest it just...amplifies every horrible feeling and every horrible thought. Until it's not just Bilbo mourning his lost love for Thorin. Every waking moment he feels hopeless and in despair and thinks if he could have any escape he would take it. The Ring starts whispering to him, telling him to go to Dol Guldur, where some remnant of the Necromancer/Sauron remains undefeated and in hiding._  
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> ****  
> _ENTER THORIN + A FEW COMPANY MEMBERS. Thorin finally realized what a jerk he was and traveled to the Shire to apologize/hopefully rekindle his love with Bilbo. But the dwarves are horrified to see this husk Bilbo has become._  
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> ****  
> _The dwarves keep Bilbo under house arrest, knowing that if he ventures into Dol Guldur (maybe he lets it slip) he'll die, something Bilbo is actually striving for. Thorin + few company members try to help Bilbo. Someone's always with him, they try and do little things like gardening or going for walks, anything to get their burglar smiling and out of the horrible place he's in._  
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> **  
> _BONUS: Thorin sleeps beside him every night and holds him while he has nightmares_  
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>  **  
>  _SUPER BONUS: IF Bilbo recovers somehow and doesn't escape off to go die at Sauron's hands, I would love a slow and believable recovery_  
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>  **  
>  _TRIPLE BONUS: Working Bagginshield throughout the whole thing_  
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> **So I guess that, with just that, you know how this story's going to go down but I want to change a few things but will discuss it with the person who suggested the prompt.**
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> **Anyways, Enjoy and leave a review and fav if you liked!**
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> * * *

It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest, fairest of all beings; seven to the Dwarf Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls, and Nine rings were gifted to the race of Men who, above all else, desire power. But they were all deceived for another ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a Master Ring to control all others. And into this Ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One Ring to rule them all...

But, after the fall of its bearer, the Ring was forgotten. It dwelled in secrecy in the caves of the Misty Mountains until, one day, it happened upon a curious creature. And though its evil would have ensnared others within a moment's notice, the Ring found itself unable to consume the being that had taken possession of it. Bilbo Baggins was too pure of heart and too strong of mind to be consumed so easily by the malignity of the Ring, even when he made use of it. Nonetheless, the Ring wanted to return to its master and it would not abandon its pursuit. It waited patiently for the moment where its bearer would find himself at his weakest and _strike_!

It was atop a wall separating the Men of Dale and the Elves of Mirkwood from the kingdom of Erebor, that the Ring saw its opportunity. There, after attempting to save everyone from war, Bilbo had fatality admitted to having betrayed the object of his affections. King Thorin of Erebor, enraged, banished Bilbo from his halls and threatened to throw him down the fortification if the latter refused to disappear from his sight immediately. As its bearer climbed down that it began to pervade his mind with its malevolence, slowly drawing Bilbo into a state of depression. When the whole ordeal was sorted and done, Thorin was properly recognized as the new King of Erebor, and Bilbo was sent away without even a crumb of gold. Those whom he had called friends and bonded with shunned him and despised him openly. Thus Bilbo returned home to the Shire with an increasing melancholy, which was taken in advantage by the Ring.

And even if Gandalf and Beorn, his last loyal friends, attempted to up his spirits, the loss of his love was too deep to be fixed with idle chatter and jokes. However, Bilbo recognized the efforts of his friends and put up a charade in which he pretended to be recuperating. His mask had cleverly fooled the wizard and the skin changer and so Bilbo's state of mind was unknown to them. But Gandalf learned of the persistent woe in Bilbo's heart when they had finally reached the Shire with an unpleasant surprise.

Due to his long absence from Bag End, Bilbo was presumed dead by the Hobbits of Hobbiton and, consequently, his belongings were being sold in an auction. The Grey Wizard had expected his companion to be distraught by this odd turn of events though he never would have fathomed that Bilbo would explode completely. He yelled loudly, quickly muffling the noisy chattering of those acquiring his possessions, and soon all stared at him in awe.

"You will return what is mine immediately!" He roared, and he was suddenly oddly intimidating for someone as short and homely as he, "If you do not, I swear I'll—"

But the Ring had pushed his luck. Bilbo interrupted himself, utterly shocked by what he had just done and dismayed by what he was about to say. His wide eyes turned to Gandalf who stared at him quietly as he wondered how he could have been so blind to his friend's sorrow. Nonetheless, the wizard came to Bilbo's aid and ushered everyone out of Bag End. The next day, the belongings that had been taken were returned – even the Sackville-Baggins' hadn't dared keep what they had acquired regardless of their poor relations with Bilbo.

Then, Gandalf stayed by Bilbo's side and watched over him for a month. It wasn't in the wizard's habit to stay in one place for too long and remain so quiet in activity, but he felt a sort of duty towards Bilbo. If it hadn't been for him, Bilbo wouldn't have had to suffer through the rejection of his love and the shunning of his friends. In truth, Gandalf felt responsible and, as to make amends for his mistake, he decided to mother Bilbo.

They talked a lot; he questioned the hobbit on the source of his pain and it was revealed that the event that took place on the wall of Erebor was the trigger to his depression. And though Gandalf used what wisdom he had as to council Bilbo to rehabilitation, he didn't know that a darker power was at play. Nonetheless, the Ring was weary of Gandalf's presence and released some of the power he had over its bearer as to not draw suspicion to it. However, once Gandalf left after the month had passed, there was nothing stopping the Ring from blatantly spreading tis evil. And Bilbo, still grief stricken, was now far too foolish and weak of mind to conclude that a dark magik was afflicting him.

Slowly, the Hobbit became gradually more unsociable. Whenever other Hobbits worried for his wellbeing – for he no longer bought his groceries and they assumed he must have been starving – knocked at his door, he would never open but answer with a shouted threat. Soon, the folks of Hobbiton began to fear Bag End and loath Gandalf, whom they held responsible for Bilbo's change in attitude. But the Grey Wizard was too far away and too preoccupied to be met with the concern of Hobbits. Thus, no one came to Bilbo's aid and the Ring was free to corrupt the once respectable being. The beautiful flowers endearing the outdoor appearance of Bag End wilted. The cute little gate leading to the home rusted due to being unused and uncared for. Everything related to beauty in the regards of the grandest home of Hobbiton faded as a seemingly permanent black cloud set inself in place, just above the now yellowed hill.

By the time Winter came and went, the people of Hobbiton scarcely dared pass next to Bag End. Whenever one would approach it, maniacal whispers or insane cackling could easily be heard which scared all those who lived nearby. And when Summer came, Bilbo's neighbours had long since abandoned their comfortable Hobbit-Holes and moved to a different hill for it was believed that Bag End now brought bad fortune.

And the people of Hobbiton continued to loath Gandalf.

And Bilbo continued to remain unsociable.

However, no one knew that the cause of his gloominess was a golden ring, forged in the fires of Mordor. No one knew, that the reason for Bilbo's insanity was because the Ring spoke to him, whispered to him, _constantly_. And now the evil relic only uttered one word, for it wanted to return to its master.

_Dol Guldur…_

_Dol Guldur…_

_Dol Guldur…_


	2. Come to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So, ladies and gentlemen, thanks for the reviews xP**
> 
> **Now we get to see what's going on with Gandalf, why he hasn't been paying much attention to Bilbo, and how the Company is doing xP This is a relatively short chapter, but things start to pick up (or I assume they will) in chapter 3.**
> 
> **I would have updated sooner but, as some of you know, I had to study for a test and I was going to cry if I didn't get an A xD The sad thing is I don't think I did too well on that test...Oh well, I'll do better next time xD**
> 
> **So, anyways, short spoiler here because I feel like I need to say this, Fíli gets wounded in his chapter (won't say how) but it's always been my dream to have that particular wound xDD I don't know, I'm really weird but I always thought it was bad ass lol**
> 
> **But yeah, ENJOY! And don't forget to review and fav! We could totally talk about our FEELZ or drown in them together :D**
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> * * *

_Dol Guldur…_

_Dol Guldur…_

_Dol Guldur…_

The Ring desperately wanted to go home. And though it had greatly influenced the once comely Hobbit, it had overestimated its power. It thought to be in total control of the creature but the woe it used to pervade Bilbo Baggins' mind had grown beyond that of what it expected. Instead of being consumed by his obsession for the Ring like Gollum, Bilbo was fixated on one thing and one thing alone: death.

He wasn't sure when the notion became so appealing to him or when the idea had first traversed his mind, but it was there. He had no reason to live; the love of his life had denied him after his horrible betrayal just as his friends had. He had lost his respect in the eyes of the Hobbit community and, otherwise, had nothing but his home. Yet Bag End was so empty and deprived of life, it didn't seem like such a prized thing to have. He even considered giving it to the Sackville-Baggins, whom always made him offers.

However, Bilbo wasn't courageous to end his own life, no matter how miserable he was. And that simply added to his self-loathing. "Of course Thorin doesn't love me anymore…" Bilbo moaned in a puddle of his own tears and blood, "Who would love someone as weak as I? Too afraid to take his own life…pitiful…"

* * *

In the meanwhile, Gandalf, who had been travelling Middle Earth in search of the One Ring, passed through Erebor. Remembering the pain and sorrow inflicted on Bilbo by the rough parting, he decided to visit the King and plead him to visit the poor Hobbit. Of course, after the betrayal and the fact that Gandalf had remained on the side of Men and Elves, Thorin viewed him as a traitor and portrayed him as so to the new inhabitants of Erebor.

When the Grey Wizard passed through the giant gates of the castle beneath the mountain, all those who had been buzzing with life quieted immediately. They glanced at him in shock, as if not believing that he had actually dared to return to their mountain. Then, they all glared at him and a few stood before and dared spit at his feet. Needless to say, Gandalf was quite shocked by the act. He had predicted to receive a cold treatment from the Dwarves but hadn't expected that they would dare show their hatred, for most feared the anger of powerful beings like wizards. Nonetheless, he wouldn't allow the rude act distract him and he marched pass the mass of Dwarves that had gathered to spit at his feet as well. It had seemed that they were inspired by their first few comrades.

Finally, upon reaching the end of the spit carpet, Gandalf stood before King Thorin of Erebor. There he sat on his throne, the Arkenstone in its rightful place, his nephews and Balin, the councillor, at his side. There were also members of Thorin's court seated on each side of the corridor, staring at Gandalf with disgust. But the Wizard's attention was on the royal lot before him; their clothes had changed drastically from the last time he had seen them.

"From pauper to proper." Gandalf commented as he stopped inches away from the steps leading to the thrones, "You've really shaped the place nicely."

Thorin frowned deeply; his hatred for the wizard was, evidently, still present. He shifted his position as to be upright, comfortably placing his hands, which were covered with precious gems, on his laps. Then he shook his head lightly as to move his hair out of his way but this brought the braids it bore to Gandalf's attention.

Braids, in the Dwarven culture, were given by one who was considered a lover after sex. To hold the locks in place, the Dwarves would use a unique bead that represented their person as to mark possession or affection. From what Gandalf could see, Thorin had multiple braids and multiple beads – in fact, none of the beads were the same.

"I see you've finished mourning Bilbo…" Gandalf said slyly, though it was meant to be condescending more than anything.

"Do not speak of that traitor." Thorin spat dryly.

"Traitor?" Gandalf repeated, feigning surprise upon hearing the label, "I remember that, once upon a time, you called him _lover_."

The court gasped and began to whisper among them until Thorin stood abruptly from his seat, "Cease your tongue!" he roared, and that was an ordered directed to his court as much as it was to Gandalf. "You will state your business, wizard, and then you will leave my kingdom. You are _incredibly lucky_ that I have allowed you to remain in my home for this length of time!"

"Anger." Gandalf said calmly, "That was always your fault; because once you were angry, no one could ever persuade you to calm your nerve. You would hold whatever grudge you had against someone which would undoubtedly crowd your better judgement."

"If you have come all this way to lecture me, you're wasting your time." Thorin replied as he sat. "If that was your purpose, it has been voiced. Now leave."

"I'm afraid that wasn't my purpose, Thorin," Gandalf sighed, "In fact, none of the information I bear leads me anywhere near Erebor. The reason I've come was because I hoped to appeal to the man you once were, for Bilbo's sake."

The Hobbit's name, used in such a context, brought intrigue to Thorin, who reluctantly decided to hear the Wizard's plea, "You speak as though he is in peril." he stated.

"He might be," Gandalf supposed, "I haven't seen him in almost a year now."

"And why do you bring him to my attention?" Thorin asked; and if Gandalf didn't know any better, he would have said that the Dwarf King seemed unnerved.

"Because you loved him once – nay, you adored him." Gandalf said, and though the court members began to whisper amongst themselves, he continued, "I remember that you would spend most of your nights in each other's arms, discussing the future. You told him how you would have him as your consort for life because marriages with other races were forbidden for Dwarven royalty. Not only that, but you made plans, you discussed how you would gather his prized possessions and move them to Erebor as to have him be as comfortable as possible. You—"

"Get to the point." Thorin interrupted.

"You loved each other so much," Gandalf resumed, "And though he told you what he did was to avoid confrontations and death, you still reject him. He never meant to hurt you, Thorin. If only you knew how much woe you caused him. He suffered so much. And though Beorn and I thought that we had renewed his spirits, we were horribly wrong. When I left him, he was an empty shell."

"Why would you—" but Thorin soon interrupted himself when he realised that his true emotions had just been revealed. By the speed of the pronounced words and the anger in his voice, Gandalf easily deduced that the King was concerned for Bilbo and dismayed by the news that was recently conveyed. Thorin took a deep breath before resuming his initial thought, "Why would you abandon him while he was in such a state?"

"I'm busy, Thorin." Gandalf answered softly, "I stayed with him for as long as I could. I don't know how he's doing or if he's better, I haven't heard anything of the Shire for, well, almost a year as well."

"And what would you have me do?" Thorin frowned, "Do you expect me to forget his betrayal and ride to him without delay? I have not forgotten about what he has done and I too have a duty."

"Send him a letter," the Grey Wizard suggested, "A sign, anything to have him know that you forgive him—"

"Did I ever say that I forgave him?" Thorin asked sharply.

"Then pretend to have forgiven him!" Gandalf snapped, "Stop this stubbornness and do something! What would you do if Bilbo were to die due to his sorrow? Would you not feel something? Anything?"

Thorin opened his mouth to answer but soon paused. The members of his court where staring at him curiously and he knew why. He had depicted Bilbo Baggins as a traitor and so, if he were to suddenly come to his aid, it would contradict what he had been proclaiming ever since the Hobbit had first departed. "What does it matter if a traitor dies?" he asked coldly, "The world would be a merrier place if it learned to value honesty and loyalty rather than lies and deceit. Now, was that it?"

Gandalf remained silent for a moment as he stared at the Dwarf King incredulously. He knew Thorin had shown concern just a moment ago when he had mentioned that Bilbo could potentially be in a life threatening position at the moment; he also understood that the King couldn't necessarily change the idea he had founded of the Hobbit, but what puzzled the wizard was how sincere the former sounded.

"Uncle…" Kíli said, his voice trembling as everyone's gazes turned to him, "This is ridiculous…"

"…What?" Thorin asked slowly.

"You know exactly what I mean!" He shouted as he jumped out of his seat, "This is ridiculous! Just send Master Baggins a letter! You can't just let him die, can you? You're being selfish and that's a fault you always claimed was negative for a King!"

"Kíli, sit down—" Fíli said, reaching for his brother.

"No!" The younger prince cried, moving away, "You want to know something, uncle? Fíli and I spoke about your apparent _hate_ for Master Baggins, we also spoke of how horrible we felt in regards to the way we treated him the last time we saw it. We feel guilty, but, above all, we miss him! He was our friend, uncle! He was your—"

"Enough!" Thorin roared, "You cease your tongue! You have no right to speak to me in that tone! Now you will sit down, quietly, and only speak when addressed to! And if you so happen to find yourself unable to resist to utter even the lightest sound, I will personally sow your mouth shut, do I make myself clear!?"

Kíli glared at his uncle, and though he said nothing, he didn't retake his seat. Instead, he turned his heels and marched away. Worried for his brother, Fíli tried to chase after him but the King soon stopped him. "No." Thorin said, "Leave him be. I will deal with him later." Then he turned his attention to Gandalf, "I am done speaking to you, wizard. Leave my kingdom immediately and never return."

"As you wish, Thorin Oakenshield." Gandalf said as he bowed lightly and slowly left the King's halls. Voices started to rise, the court clearly wanted answers in regards to Bilbo but the wizard knew that their King was far too preoccupied by his own feelings. He was confident that his words had had an effect but whether they would provoke an action was still to be seen. Nonetheless, Gandalf had little time to spend in Erebor and had to continue with his search for the One Ring. If their enemy found it first, who knew what evil could be exacted upon the world…

* * *

Though many of the influential Dwarves from his court had intercepted him and demanded answers, Thorin ignored them. He marched away, headed to where he had thought Kíli had gone, while the court members slowly abandoned their chase. Gandalf's appearance had stimulated quite the disturbance though Thorin never would have fathomed that his youngest nephew would have been affected. After Bilbo's initial parting prior to his betrayal, Kíli had seemed to be the one most engaged within his anger. But then, Kíli was young and had a tendency to act rashly, thus the hate was most likely short lived.

"Damn that wizard…" Thorin cursed beneath his breath.

"Yes, he has rattled the court members quite thoroughly." Balin commented. Thorin jolted in surprise, he had thought that everyone once following him had abandoned pursuit but he had clearly been wrong. Balin and Fíli were following just a few steps behind him, "You'll need to give them an explanation sooner or later, laddie."

"That's unimportant at the moment." Thorin muttered.

"Uncle," Fíli said, "What do you reckon you'll do concerning Bilbo?"

"Well what do you think I should do?" Thorin asked snappily, "Apparently, you and your brother have had a wonderful conversation in those regards."

"You must understand that we were friends before," Fíli defended, "We've shared plenty of laughs and joyous moments and though he may have betrayed us, it was for a noble cause. In the end, he didn't want any of us to die and he did what he thought was best even if it was a mistake. We forgave him, uncle, why can't you?"

"Why can't I?" Thorin chuckled sinisterly as his pace slowed, "Why can't _I_ forgive _him_? Perhaps it is because after loving him and treasuring him, he took what was most precious to me, what I strove to regain from Smaug and gave it to the Men of Dale and the Elves of Mirkwood. Do you understand that, _nephew_? _He_ took the one thing that represents _my_ right to rule Erebor and gave it away to the _enemy_. I was lucky to ever get it back, though I bet that Thranduil attempted to persuade Bard to make different use of _my_ heirloom."

"But uncle, you got it back, the Arkenstone is in your possession," Fíli argued desperately, though a part of him knew that what he was doing was pointless. Thorin was in one of his moods where he would stubbornly stick to his opinion, "Bard kept his word and Thranduil never manipulated you. Everything is well—"

"Well?" Thorin repeated loudly, "You think everything is well? Before you make assumptions of the kind, fall in love with an insufferable creature, promise it your heart and soul, and then tell me how you feel after it commits an intolerable act of betrayal! If you subsequently think all if well, then you are a fool, Fíli! If it betrays you once, do you not think it can or will do it again?"

"I gather you will be sending no letter to Bilbo Baggins as requested of Gandalf?" Balin said, interrupted the silence which had preceded the King's former statement.

"Correct." Thorin confirmed, glaring at his frustrated nephew.

The King then turned his heels, marching away when— "A slut." Thorin, shocked and confused, slowly faced Fíli, "Was that all he was? A slut? A tramp?"

"I never said that—"

"Was he a whore bent on capturing your heart and destroying it? Do you think that every time you made love, Bilbo only viewed it as sex?" Fíli continued harshly.

"Shut your mouth—"

"Because if that was the case, I do regret not making my move considering I found him very appealing to the eye—" and whatever Fíli was about the say next was muffled by the solid punch to his face, knocking him to the ground. And though the young prince suspected more were meant to follow, Balin had interrupted the quarrel rapidly.

"Thorin! Calm yourself—"

"See…? Uncle?" Fíli moaned as he rubbed his sore cheek. He flinched as he felt blood and was surprised that the blow had been powerful enough to split his flesh, nonetheless, he didn't let it stop him as he got to his feet, "You still love him. You're just too stubborn to admit it to yourself. You were concerned when Gandalf had mentioned that his life was in peril and you were angered by my words. If you truly hated Bilbo, you wouldn't have reacted in such a manner."

"You were…testing me?" Thorin asked incredulously as he brushed Balin's grip away.

"In a sense, yes," Fíli admitted as he dusted his clothes quickly, "But I did think Bilbo was beautiful the first time I saw him. And if he weren't so blatantly in love with you, I would have tried to woo him."

The King wasn't sure how to feel about the confession, though a sort of guilt crept into his gut. During their time together, Thorin and Bilbo had made their love, affection and relationship obvious to the entire company, they even announced it, and thus he could not fathom the pain he unknowingly inflicted upon Fíli by doing so. Nonetheless, Thorin reckoned that Fíli was the one who was always the happiest for them.

"When you love someone, you just want what makes them happy," Fíli said, almost as if guessing his uncle's thoughts, "And it hurts me to know that Bilbo is suffering far, far away. Now that you know your true feelings for Bilbo still remain, won't you consider sending the letter before making your final decision?"


	3. I must Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Alright, this chapter was supposed to be up yesterday but I got lazy xDD**
> 
> **Anyways, it's here now and you should get chapter 4 tomorrow!**
> 
> **I also wanted to mention that the first paragraph in the first chapter was actually a quote from the Lord of the Rings script (because Galadriel's narration was just awesome) but I edited it because it was pretty long and I just made it get to the point lol xD I didn't want to take credit for something I didn't necessarily write lol BUT THE REST IS ALL ME I SWEAR!**
> 
> **Anyways, ENJOY! Like and review if you enjoyed :D**
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> * * *
> 
> **BTW: IF YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT YET GO VOTE FOR BILBO FOR THE MTV AWARDS!**
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"When you love someone, you just want what makes them happy," Fíli said, almost as if guessing his uncle's thoughts, "And it hurts me to know that Bilbo is suffering somewhere far, far away. Now that you know your true feelings for Bilbo still remain, won't you consider sending the letter before making your final decision?"

Nothing more between the two was said; for soon Fíli walked away leaving his uncle to ponder on what had just been made evident to him. And though Balin soon began to council the King of Dwarves, the latter was ignored and sent away. Thorin had to think; never had he been so distraught.

* * *

Walking through the corridors of Erebor, Fíli reflected on his words and confession to his uncle. Never had he thought he would ever be in a position to divulge the true feelings he held for Bilbo and yet, it happened. He was a little embarrassed when he thought of it; mostly because he had confessed in such a rude manner, objectifying the Hobbit. Nonetheless, Bilbo hadn't been present at the time and would never know of his harsh words, a fact in which Fíli found some reconciliation. Though now that a seed had been planted in his uncle's head, the heir of Erebor's next step was to find his mischievous brother.

But before, Fíli headed to Oín's quarters as the mend the wound inflicted on his face. Blood continuously dripped down the gash, and though he constantly wiped it away, he feared that it would inevitable taint his clothing if he ignored it for too long. And upon entering the old Dwarf's work area, he was bombarded with questions. Oín mainly wanted to know how Fíli had gotten such a nasty bruise and cut on his cheek but all the prince would say was that he had had a quarrel with Thorin.

"Well I'm afraid that you'll need some stitches, prince-ling." Oín sighed as he unsheathed his medical equipment. "That must have been some argument you were having with your uncle. I never thought he would raise a fist against his precious nephews."

"Let's just say I deserved it." Fíli chuckled.

"That's not necessarily something I can agree on, lad," Oín declared, tilting Fíli's head as to have better access to the wound, "Seeing as you won't tell me _why_ your fight erupted."

"It's not very important…" the prince lied, "I was just out of line."

"Hn." Oín groaned, setting the tip of the sowing needle into a nearby fire as to sterilize it.

"Say," Fíli muttered after a short moment of silence, "How do you reckon the gash was made?"

"Did Thorin use a weapon against you?" Oín asked, fishing for his sowing thread.

"No."

"Then the impact of his punch was so strong," Oín answered patting the prince's wounded cheek, "That your bone sliced through your skin."

The old Dwarf removed the needle from the fire and dunked it into a bucket of water, cooling it instantaneously. Then, he tied his thread to the end of the needle approached the prince carefully, warning him that it would sting.

"Can't you give me some ale to numb the pain?" he asked as he watched the needle close in on his wound.

"Come now, prince-ling," Oín said condescendingly, "Take it like a man."

And so, four stitches later, the wound on Fíli cheek was shut and the prince was on his way to search for his brother when he was stopped.

"I heard that Gandalf came to Erebor," the old Dwarf declared, "Is it true?"

"It is." Fíli answered slowly.

"And how's the old fellow faring?" Oín asked almost hesitantly.

"He's busy," the prince answered, "Though he seems to be in good health."

"Do you know what he wanted?" Oín continued.

Fíli smiled, "It's not my place to say, but I assume you'll soon learn of it from my uncle or another."

With that, the heir of Erebor left the room and began searching for his troublesome brother. Whenever Kíli was irritated or agitated, he had a tendency of summoning trouble. Thus, Fíli's goal was to find him and stop him before any damage could be done. The first place he decided to look was in his brother's chambers. He assumed that Kíli might have retreated to the comfort of his room to sulk and then concocted his devious plan. However, upon entering the room, he found it empty. And though it was relatively normal, no signs of damage made by an angry Dwarf, there was something peculiar left behind: a letter.

It was situated on Kíli's bed; and the missive itself was sealed away into an envelop. The prince had also taken the time to imprint the royal seal on the envelop which amused Fíli. He casually walked over to it, assuming that the letter would contain silly information such as Kíli's will for the latter might be in the process of anger Thorin beyond words. But Fíli was very surprised; the letter contained nothing of what he expected. Instead, it was a message apologizing to him:

_Dear Fíli,_

_I'm sorry to let you know about my actions this way but I assumed that you would have attempted to stop me if I had told you before hand. After hearing of Gandalf what state Bilbo is in, I feel the need to ride to the Shire and comfort him because I know uncle won't do it himself. Not only does he have to govern the kingdom, but he's far too stubborn to do it even if he could spare time from his job. Nonetheless, you needn't worry about me, I've taken the precautions necessary. Though you may wonder how I will direct my way to the Shire without a map, I have found a way to solve that problem in a different way. I've forced Ori to join me in this adventure. He has taken note of our journey with Bilbo including the way he had borrowed to get to Bilbo's home from Rivendell. And so, we will head to Rivendell and Ori will lead the way at that point. Again, I'm sorry not to have warned you before hand but I couldn't have taken the risk of you stopping me. I'm worried Fíli and I know you are too, so let me do this. I'll be back before you know it and I will brave the consequences of my actions._

_Love,_

_Kíli._

Fíli crumpled the paper with a growl and shoved it into his pocket as he stormed out of the room. Of all the things Kíli could have done to get back at their uncle, he decided to engage in a journey to the Shire in order to visit one who was deemed a traitor in the realm of Erebor. When his brother would return, not only would he face the wrath of Thorin but also the shunning of the Dwarven community. Because of all the hateful things Thorin had declared in regards to both Bilbo and Gandalf, all hated them and would therefore view Kíli as a traitor as well. Said scenario could potentially lead to his brother's exile.

Of course, Fíli would not allow that. Ever since the death of their mother, Fíli barely separated himself from Kíli and to have him be exiled from their home was something the prince wasn't ready to tolerate or accept. He ran down the corridors, in search for his uncle whom he soon found in his chambers, speaking to a distraught Dori and irritated Nori. When their eyes settled on him, Dori and Nori both ran and pinned him against the wall threateningly.

"Where is your insufferable brother!?" they demanded in unison, "And don't pretend to lie! We know you know where he's gone to!"

"Calm yourselves," Thorin warned and the two released Fíli. The King then sighed and explained the situation to Fíli, "It would seem that, after his parting, Kíli would have stolen Ori from the confines of his home and dragged him away. He didn't specify where but his brothers are evidently worried, and for good reason. Who knows what Kíli may have up his sleeve…anyway, they think you might know something but I doubt you do considering you were with me—"

"I found this letter on his bed." Fíli interrupted, showing them the crumpled piece of paper.

"Give me that!" Nori snapped, snatching the paper from the prince's hand. Then the thief read the missive quickly as his brother peaked over his shoulder.

"What does it say?" Dori asked.

Nori growled and crumbled the paper, "He's taken Ori to Rivendell!"

"What!? Why!?" Dori squeaked.

"Because Ori supposedly knows the way to the Shire from Rivendell." Nori spat, throwing the paper to the ground. "The route through the Misty Mountains still isn't safe, regardless of the Goblins and Orcs' defeat! There are other danger roaming those precipices!"

"I swear I will skin that devilish dwarf the second I get my hands on hi—"

"The Shire?" Thorin repeated surprised. "Why the Shire—"

"Why do you think?" Fíli nearly snorted, "He doesn't think you'll send a letter to Bilbo let alone put an effort into comforting him, and I can't say his reasoning is unjustified. He's gone to care for Bilbo himself."

Suddenly, the door to the chambers opened once more as a rattled Gloín stumbled in, speaking frantically. "It's horrible, Thorin! Two chests of gold have been stolen!"

"What!? By whom!?" Thorin nearly shouted.

"I don't know, I didn't see their faces!" Gloín explained, "But they've fled the Mountain and stolen two ponies as well!"

"Have you sent the guards at their pursuit?" Thorin asked, frowning.

"I have," Gloín answered, "But the thieves have set the other ponies free and agitated them with fire crackers! By the time one of the guards managed to tame one of the beasts, they had gained considerable ground!"

"Fire crackers…?" Fíli muttered, "That sounds like something Kíli would do…"

"But how could he have gotten fire crackers?" Dori asked, "None of the merchants here sell those sort of things."

"Gandalf!" Thorin growled.

* * *

"Wow! That was mighty fun!" Kíli laughed as the ponies raced away in the planes.

"We're going to get in a lot of trouble…" Ori reminded bitterly, he didn't want to face Thorin's wrath let alone that of his brothers. "Was stealing these chests of gold really necessary? We could have just asked Gloín—"

"He would have had us fill in paper work and we didn't have the time for that!" Kíli explained, he looked back at the gates of Erebor and was surprised to see that some horsemen hadn't been released yet. The ponies must have still been running around frantically, "Bilbo needs our help and we can't have him wait any longer."

"B-Bilbo?" Ori choked, "Isn't he deemed one of the worse traitor of Erebor alongside Gandalf?"

"My uncle has anger issues." The prince declared, "Not only that but he's stubborn. I hope one day he'll come around or else we risk being exiled."

"Exiled!?" Ori exclaimed, "Oh dear Mahal what have I gotten myself involved in!"

"It's too late to turn back now, Ori!" Kíli laughed, "Ride forth to Rivendell and do what's right! Face the consequences later!"

* * *

The guards had been unable to catch up with the 'thieves' and now Thorin had to engage in a course of action that would save Kíli and Ori from the fury of the Dwarven population. When and if they would learn that the reason for their hasty parting was to visit one labelled traitor to Erebor, the kingdom would demand that they too be exiled as well, even if one of them was part of the royal family. And though it was a fitting punishment for such a betrayal, the King would not have it because the two were his family and loyal friends.

Thus, in order to avoid exiling the two mentioned Dwarves, Thorin had to think of something that would explain why Kíli and Ori had stolen gold and ponies as to have the action not be linked to Bilbo. However, doing so was a tricky matter and, in the end, Thorin only found one way to explain everything. Though he loathed his plan, it was the only way to justify the chaos created by the two escapees. Bilbo would get more than a letter from his part.

The Dwarf King gathered all the members of the company hastily as to explain his plot before rumours would begin circulating. He burned the letter Kíli had left behind and, finally, addressed all of his friends when they were present as to explain the situation and their course of action. "I'm sorry to have forced you away from your activities," Thorin began with a deep sigh, "But, as you might have heard, we have a problem."

"You mean the thieves?" Bofur asked. "I saw them pass through the front gates, one of them looked a lot like Kíli—"

"It was Kíli." Nori said angrily, "The other was Ori."

"Why in Mahal's name would they do such a thing?" Balin asked, baffled.

"They've gone to see Bilbo." Thorin answered.

"Bilbo Baggins?" Dwalin repeated incredulously, "They've left to pay a visit to that _traitor_!?"

"Do _not_ speak ill of him!" Fíli defended immediately.

"And why not!?" Dwalin snapped back, "He's betrayed us and tried to take away Thorin's right to rule—"

"Settle down!" Thorin interrupted, "I will not have an argument erupt, especially at this given moment!" When Dwalin and Fíli seated themselves, he continued, "Now, I am aware of how Bilbo is portrayed in Erebor. He's a traitor and all the Dwarves living within the mountain know so and believe so. If word was ever to get out that Kíli and Ori fled the kingdom with stolen gold and ponies to visit him; the people would demand that they be exiled."

"What!?" Bofur exclaimed, "But they're both lads! How do you suppose they survive on their own?"

"If I've called you all here, it's because I have a plan." Thorin said calmly, "And I need you all to take part in it. Do I have your word that you will follow me flawlessly in my façade?"

"Aye." Said they.

"Good, now listen carefully," Thorin ordered before explaining his scheme, "I'll announce to my court, the following morning, that I will be on my way to Rivendell accompanied by all of you. The reason for such a journey will be to thank Lord Elrond for his hospitality and aid in our mission to reclaim Erebor, but I will also say that I will discuss trading opportunities with the Elf."

"And why would the court believe that part?" Balin asked, "Why trade with an ally so far away?"

"Rivendell will have the same goods we used to purchase from Mirkwood," Thorin explained, "Though the shipping costs will be greater, we will need to replace the Woodland Realm for we are in the middle of an embargo with them."

"I see," Balin mused, "Go on."

"Thus, under these pretences, we will chase after Kíli and Ori," Thorin continued, "As for their actions, they will be justified by the fact that Kíli decided to cause a commotion as a way to attain a revenge of the sort subsequent to the fight we had. We'll say that he was meant to partake in the journey in the first place but decided to leave before us because he was angry."

"The court was present during your arguement," Fíli stated, "And everyone knows Kíli to be a mischief maker, they'll have no problem believing that part."

"Exactly," the King confirmed, "Gloín, alerted because Kíli with Ori, who was forced into his plot, would have gone to fetch a portion of the gold for the trip dressed as thieves, and the agitated the ponies will be depicted as elements of my nephew's revenge."

"What about the fire crackers? How did he acquire them?" Gloín asked. "They're dangerous for our mine workers thus everyone knows that they are forbidden in Erebor."

"In honest truth," Thorin sighed, "I suspect Gandalf was the one who gave them to him."

"Gandalf!?" those who knew not of the wizard's presence gasped.

"Yes," The King confirmed, "He was the one who provoked the conflict between Kíli and I. He's known for his fireworks in small communities and so it would not be foolish to assume that he was the who slipped them within in my nephew's grasp."

"Alright, you've invented a fool proof story," Balin said, "Now how do you suppose we go about this, laddie? This trip has been planned spontaneously and no weapon smith, merchant or cook will believe that we've requested supplies beforehand."

"I've thought of that," Thorin declared, "This is what I'll need all of you to do: Gloín, you will need to forge documents stating that we've asked the best of Erebor to produce the supplies necessary scheduled to be ready in two days. Nori will help you with the forging. Dwalin, you will consult our best weapon smith and pretend that you're just passing by to make sure everything is ready or nearly done. Bombur, you will do the same but you will visit our best grocer for those purposes. Bofur, you will be consulting the beast master in regards of his ponies. I expect you all to get into a sort of _verbal_ fight." he looked at Dwalin warningly, "And as to prove that you're right, you will bring the ones you've been assigned to, to Gloín as to view the documents that will have been forged. They will inevitably be proven wrong and forced to work faster as to meet the due date. Hopefully, everything will be resolved flawlessly in two days."

"Sounds like a plan." Dwalin commented.

"Gloín, Nori, I will needs those documents forged as quickly as possible." Thorin said. "Dwalin, Bofur and Bombur, give them the time necessary to accomplish their task before pestering our suppliers. The rest of you, prepare your bags as hastily as possible, we need to make it seem as though this trip has been planed for a long time."

And with a simultaneous "Yes, Thorin!" they left to do what they had been ordered. Everything unfolded as planned; when those charged with the task of supplying the company declared that they had never received such a command, they were shown the forged documents and, although completely baffled, believed them. Thorin managed to evade questions of his court regarding Gandalf's visit by declaring and explaining his trip to Rivendell as well as his young nephew's actions. They too believed it without a problem but reluctantly accepted Thorin's departure. Erebor was still in need of a leader and they weren't sure the kingdom would manage to function properly in absence of its King. Luckily for the Thorin, Daín, who was a part of the King's court, offered to replace his cousin during his journey. Thorin knew Daín to be fair and good to others, and so he accepted.

When it was time to leave, everything was ready and the suppliers were more than happy. They had worked day and night to accomplish their given task in time and most would then travel to the nearest tavern for a celebratory drink. Nonetheless, that was of no concern for Thorin. Kíli and Ori were now two days ahead of them and the young prince would most likely take the precautions necessary as to blur their route. Kíli obviously didn't want to be found before arriving to the Shire and so, meeting Bilbo again was almost inevitable.

And Thorin loathed it.


	4. I am Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **So, because this is a prompt with BONUSes, I realised I hadn't yet started on the bonuses and checked them out xD** **Awkwardly, the only doable bonus is the first one xD So feel free to give me different bonuses, Siri, as to make up for the other ones xDD**
> 
> **Anyways, there was something a lot of you were expecting this chapter *serect-confusing mode ACTIVATE* but I'm not going to say what it is, in case some of you forgot, but you'll see that I took it in a completely unexpected direction! MUAHAA! I'm so evil and confusing xP**
> 
> **I'm glad that so many of you are enjoying this story so far :D I just felt like I needed to say that for the anon/guest reviewers to whom I can't respond to xP**
> 
> **But whatever, now ENJOY! Fav and review if you enjoyed! :D I love speaking to you all! Even you anons/guests to whom I respond in my head xDD**
> 
> * * *
> 
> **PS: I know this update was quick but don't expect the next chapter to pop by as quickly xD I have to write it and I haven't even begun to do so lol**
> 
> **PSS: I think it's time I tell you that my updates are inconsistent but I will TRY to update once a week.**
> 
> **PSSS: The key word here is 'try'...just saying xP**
> 
> **PSSSS: Bilbo won for best hero in the MTV Movie Awards which was a surprisingly disappointing (in my opinion) award show :D**
> 
> * * *

"Do you reckon it was a good idea to go around Mirkwood?" Ori asked, "It would have been faster to cut through…"

"Mirkwood is dangerous." Kíli stated, "Not only that but my uncle is on bad terms with Thranduil. If we were to be captured by his soldiers, I doubt he would free us without using us for a ransom. Besides, if we're being followed, they will also be going around Mirkwood so we have nothing to fear. We shouldn't be intercepted."

And with a nod, silence fell upon the young Dwarves who enjoyed the leisured pace of the ponies' galloping. However, something was weighing on Ori's mind and the quiet atmosphere's serenity was quickly broken by his voice, "Why are we really going to the Shire?" Ori asked. "I do believe, in some sense, that you truly mean to take care of Bilbo, but what good can you do? Sure a friendly face can help, but to what extent? Your uncle would have to be the one to knock at his door and apologize as to ease some of his grief…"

"You're not as naïve as I thought," Kíli smirked, and Ori wasn't sure whether he should feel vexed, "In all honesty, I'm trying to lure my uncle to the Shire. If anyone has to chase after us, I believe it's everyone who was a part of the adventure in reclaiming Erebor. You'll be facing your brothers sooner than expected, Ori." The latter gulped nervously and began imagining what they would say to him until the prince continued, "I don't think Thorin's an idiot, actually he's very smart and everyone knows it. Because of that, I know that he's aware of what I'm doing and that, if he's really the one chasing after us, it's because he too wants to see Bilbo but needs an excuse."

"It almost sounds like you're being considerate." Ori laughed softly.

"What!? But I _am_ being considerate!" Kíli protested, "I may not be the smartest of the bunch but I am intelligent enough to notice that my uncle still loves Bilbo! He's just too stubborn to admit it!"

"I suppose he is rather obstinate." Ori chuckled, "But…can I know why you forced me on this quest with you?"

"Well…you're my friend," Kíli smiled, "And when Fíli and I were travelling to the Shire from Ered Luín, he was the one who had the map so I never got a chance to learn the path."

"But I doubt you've forgotten our adventure with Bilbo," Ori pointed out, "Returning to the Shire is merely reversing our travel from there to Erebor—"

"I'm sorry Ori," Kíli said with a cold smile, "I wasn't aware that you wanted to return to your brothers and my uncle so soon."

Thus, the two continued their voyage silently, though occasionally chatting but never mentioning the purpose of their trip or the others. And though there was no Thorin or authority figure dictating when they would halt for the day, the two Dwarves made sure to travel until they couldn't see anything anymore and resumed at the first sign of light. With their strict curfew, Kíli and Ori were permanently ahead of the company who was trailing them and arrived to the Shire three days ahead of them. But they were met with an unexpected surprise.

When the two reached the Shire, the sun was beginning to set behind the vast landscape of green hills. At that point, Ori's memory of the specific road that had to be borrowed to reach Bag End had blurred and so they asked the locals for directions.

"Bag End?" Repeated a farmer, utterly horrified by the name, "Aye, you're not too far away, continue East and you'll see the only yellow hill in these parts and that's where it'll be at. Wouldn't go there if I were you, it's cursed."

"Cursed?" Kíli asked, looking at Ori nervously, "No, that can't be right, our friend lives there. His name is Bilbo Bag—"

"Oi! Shut your trap!" The farmer barked violently, "Don't utter his name here! It's said to bring bad omens! Now off with you! I don't wish to lose my crops!"

"Now just a moment!" Kíli insisted, though he was a little vexed, "What exactly happened? Bilbo was a respectable Hobbit, he said so himself so many times before! Why would his name bring about bad omens?"

"Well, for one thing, he left on an _adventure_ which is badly viewed in these parts," the farmer said quickly, hoping to rid himself of the Dwarves, "And when he came back, he was abnormal. He was a very predictable fellow but, upon his return, he constantly acted in an unexpected manner. He soon became unsociable and violent, threatening all those who dared bother him even if they were just worried for his well-being. Then the green of his hill withered, setting in place a sickly yellow, and all those who ventured close to Bag End heard hysterical laughs and mutterings of the insane. Those same Hobbits were then plagued by bad luck and illnesses. Seeing as they were very healthy before hand, the only explanation possible was a curse inflicted by… _that_ Hobbit. Now I've answered your questions, leave my lot before I anger the evil that lingers in his home!"

And though both Dwarves had additional questions to have illuminated, the farmer quickly retreated into his home and locked the doors. Officially worried for Bilbo's sake, they doubled their speed to Bag End which they found without a problem. As previously mentioned, it was easily distinguishable by the wilted plants decorating it. A dark cloud also seemingly lingered above the Hill, and the other Hobbit homes around it were deserted. The area they had just ventured in was generally ominous and far from as cheery as it had been in the farmer's parts. Nonetheless, Kíli and Ori braved through the sinister landscaped and reached Bilbo's home, only recognizable by the faint engraving left by Gandalf nearly two years ago.

"The Hobbit said that those approaching Bag End could hear the mutters and laughter's of the insane…" Ori whispered to Kíli, "I haven't heard a thing so far, have you?"

"Not even the slightest whisper." Kíli said gravely.

They jumped off their ponies' back and approached the home, wincing when the petit fence shielding the access to Bag End creaked open. They exchanged weary looks but continued forth; determine to see what had become of Bilbo. Once at the door, Kíli delivered three solid knocks and waited to hear Bilbo's angry voice telling them to leave, but no such thing was heard.

"That's odd…" the Prince whispered beneath his breath then knocked again. No answer. "Bilbo?" he called knocking again. "Bilbo? If you're in there, answer me! Bilb—"

Suddenly, the door fell from its hinges with a snap of wood and landed noisily on the dust covered floor. Both were surprised by the door's apparent weakness, and, as they slowly entered the once luxurious home, they realised just how neglected it had been. Dust covered every surface, spider webs accommodating multiple critters were found in almost every corner, and most of the furniture had been destroyed. However, what bothered the young Dwarves the most were the streaks of dried red liquid paving the walls.

"It looks like…blood…" Ori whispered in horror.

"Bilbo!?" Kíli called worriedly, but no one answered him. "Damn it!" Kíli cursed and began sprinting through the home, repeatedly calling out for Bilbo. He investigated almost every room whereas Ori followed the blood trail. Eventually, it lead him to a horrendous yet peculiar sight in the Hobbit's study.

"Kíli!" Ori called nervously, "Come quick!"

And within moments, the prince was by the scribe's side regarding the blood smeared across almost every surface. Papers, crumpled and ripped, were scattered everywhere also tainted by the crimson liquid. The furniture filling the room was also broken and scattered, save for a lone chair which laid tipped on the ground, in the middle of a dried pool of blood. Above it was a broken noose attached to the ceiling.

"He tried to kill himself…" Kíli muttered, horrified.

"But did he succeed…?" Ori asked, moving a little closer to the tipped chair. "The rope is broken, but the blood covering nearly everything would make it seem as though he died from blood loss…"

"If he's dead…" Kíli wondered, "Where's the body?"

"I followed the blood trail," Ori said, "It lead me here…which means that—"

"Bilbo left the house!" Kíli concluded with a growl, "We have to go find him!"

"But we don't know where he's gone to!" Ori argued, "I think we should wait for the others!"

"We can't afford to wait Ori!" Kíli snapped, "We need to find Bilbo before it's too late!"

"What makes you think it _isn't_ too late?" Ori asked harshly, "And even if it wasn't, where would we start looking first? No one knows where he's left to or else the farmer would have told us so earlier!"

"We—" Kíli interrupted himself as the crunching of a paper distracted him. He looked down at his boot as he tried to kick the nuisance away but suddenly noticed something odd inscribed on tainted sheet. He ripped it from beneath his sole and read it, " _Dol Guldur…_ "

"What?" Ori asked dryly, he was suddenly absent of all negative or positive emotion, "What did you say?"

"Dol Guldur." Kíli repeated showing the younger Dwarf the paper littered with the name. Then the prince reached for another of the scattered papers and found that it too contained the name of the odd place, "That's what it says on all of the papers. I don't think I've heard of that place before…"

"It's cursed…" Ori muttered quietly, "A dark evil lurks there…"

"Dark evil?" Kíli repeated sceptically.

"In the days of old," Ori explained sinisterly, "Nineteen Rings of Power were forged. Three were given to the Elves, Seven were given to the Dwarves and Nine were given to the Kings of Men. But they were all deceived. The Dark Lord Sauron forged another ring in secret as to obtain control over all the other rings and their beholders. One of the nine Kings of Men possessed by the evil power of Sauron lays within the ruins of Dol Guldur…If Bilbo has truly gone there, regardless of the large amount of blood loss, it's only a matter of time before death takes its toll."

* * *

The last lights of the day slowly faded away behind the treetops. They had started a fire and Bombur was nearly done cooking the food that would be their supper. All were seated around the warm embers at the exception of Thorin who declared that he had to think. They were three days away from the Shire and soon he would see Bilbo; the King was flustered and was thinking about the reaction he should borrow upon meeting again. Gandalf had said that Bilbo was in a desolating state, that he had been devastated by their separation, thus Thorin wondered if he should still be blatantly angry or if he should tone it down for the Hobbit. Maybe he could ignore Bilbo, or generally act coldly towards him.

 _But if he truly is in a desperate state of mind…_ Thorin mused, staring into the growing abyss before him, _Perhaps I would only wound him more by acting in such a manner…_

Of course, acting kindly and a reconciliation with the Hobbit was out of the question. The King was still far too angry to forgive his ex-lover's betrayal…and yet, a part of him just wanted to hold Bilbo. To caress his soft curls, to kiss his red lips and hold him in his arms was a secret desire inhabited within the Dwarf's heart. Though he would not admit to that either because he was supposed to be angry.

Suddenly, the King was pulled out of his thoughts as the rustling of leaves and snaps of twigs caught his attention. Reaching for his sword, he was prepared for an enemy attack if one would come, but it never did. Instead, he saw the shape of a familiar but incredibly thin silhouette limp away, into the gloom. The King waited an additional amount of minutes before deciding to investigate when—

"Thorin! Supper's ready!" Dwalin called from the campfire.

Slowly, Thorin tore his gaze away from where he had seen – or thought to have seen – a familiar creature and retracted his grip from his sword. Then, with a final glance in the darkness' direction, he returned to the fire where he was given a bowl of steaming stew.


	5. Come Find Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **What did I say? What did I say, ladies and gents (though I doubt there are any dudes) ? I said don't expect another chapter this week but what did I just do?**
> 
> **I gave you another chapter, that's what xP**
> 
> **I'm actually in my last year of school before heading to Uni and I'm surprised by the amount of free time I have xP And I'm not one of those geniuses who can just not do work and get awesome grades because I work a lot xP I guess it pays off considering I have enough free time to work on this chapter and post it lol**
> 
> **Anyways, is anyone else watching Game of Thrones? None of my friends watch it and I have no one to talk to about it ):**
> 
> **But, whatever, there's a bunch of angst and dick!Thorin this chapter :D**
> 
> **ENJOY! Review and fav if you liked, I mean, you're going to be down there, might as well do something xP**
> 
> * * *
> 
> **PS: I swear to you that I DO NOT update on a regular basis! So don't expect another chapter this week! Really! I know I say stuff but...well...just don't expect anything okay? xP It's easier for me this way lol**
> 
> * * *

"This can't be real…" Kíli mumbled incredulously, "Are you saying that Bilbo has a part to play in the mentioned myth?"

"No," Ori reassured, though there was nothing comforting in his tone, "The myth is too old and too unrealistic. However, Dol Guldur is known to be the resting place of one of the Kings of Men who succumbed to madness. It's also known to be a haunted place that brings about death and misfortune. Not only that but there are fowl creatures lurking about in the area, more dangerous than those we encountered in Mirkwood. If Bilbo manages to reach Dol Guldur, he might as well be dead."

"Then we have to catch him before that happens!" Kíli declared, "Come on!"

"Just a moment!" Ori intervened, and the younger Dwarf was surprised by the authority in his voice, "Have you forgotten about the others? We'll inevitably cross paths with them and if your uncle decides to continue with his stubbornness, he won't allow us to chase after Bilbo!"

Kíli bit his lip; Ori made a valid point. He could beg his uncle, but if the latter was in his obstinate state of mind, he would never get what he wanted. But it wasn't as though the two of them were strong or skilled enough to venture into the danger waiting for them if they went after Bilbo. They would need the help of others brave enough to follow them but, unfortunately, there were no such folk within these parts. There were only Hobbits as far as the eye could see and the two Dwarves knew all too well that Hobbits hated to leave their homes and partaking in adventures.

Nonetheless, Kíli wasn't about to abandon Bilbo; the Hobbit meant too much to his family – no matter how persistent they were in denying it. Kíli knew of Fíli's secret affection for the Halfling because it was so blatantly obvious whenever their eyes would lock, and he knew that Thorin still loved Bilbo even if he claimed he hated him. Yet the prince, aware of how perilous this journey would be, refused to put at stake the life of another, "Go home Ori." He said quietly. "Go find the others and go home."

There was a moment of silence in which Ori was incredulous, "…what?"

"I said go find the others and go home." Kíli repeated, "I'll be going after Bilbo and I know how dangerous it will be, but I don't want to risk your life."

Preceding that statement, nothing more was said. The two exchanged gazes and Ori silently understood that nothing he could say would change Kíli's mind. And it wasn't as though he could threaten the prince – Ori was far from menacing. Thus, Kíli flashed the youngest Dwarf a smile and walked pass him without uttering another word. No other words would have been uttered if Ori hadn't allowed himself to explode at the very instant Kíli crossed the door's frame.

"You forced me into one of your schemes!" Ori yelled, his body shaking his rage, "You forced me to steal a pony and a chest of gold! You made me lead you to the Shire because you couldn't remember the way! And when we return to the others, you'll have forced me into a mountain of trouble! You can't just ask me to _not_ follow you into more trouble! What makes you think that my brothers won't kill me once they get their hands on me!?"

"Your brothers are pushovers when it comes to you." Kíli smiled.

"You're just saying that because you've never seen them angry before." Ori stated with a sigh, "Look, I understand that you want to protect me, to keep me safe, but what would the others say if I abandoned you to danger just to save my skin? If I deserted the prince of Erebor at such a time, why it would be near treason! We came all this way together, Kíli, and, even if it scares me to venture to Dol Guldur, I'm going to do it so don't try leaving me behind."

The prince's smile grew into a large grin, "You know, I always wondered why my uncle allowed you to join our cause. You always seemed weak and unfit for battle," he admitted, ignoring the other's vexed expression, "But I understand now. More than anything, Thorin probably wanted someone with a willing heart more than a skilled warrior seduced by the promise of gold."

"I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a compliment." Ori said, though his smile indicated a sort of gratitude.

"I'll leave it to your imagination." Kíli chuckled, "Now do you know the way to Dol Guldur?"

"No." Ori answered, "But I remember that Bilbo was very fond of geography so he must have maps around his house. We'll just need to find the good one."

"He might have left with it." Kíli said.

"He could have, but I doubt it unless it was in this room." Ori mused, "I think Bilbo left after he spilled all of this blood, and there's only one trail in the house which leads outside. I'd say our odds to find a map are very good."

Thus they scavenged the house, quickly finding various maps of Middle Earth depicting not only the roads but the locations of castles of Old. Said charts were rather useful considering Dol Guldur was an ancient location. Nonetheless, both were dismayed to see that the fortress was situated in the South of Mirkwood. The Woodland Elves didn't populate said part of the forest nor did they have control over it since the Evil had first been set in place, but it was far away from the Shire and lowered their chances of finding Bilbo alive. However, they did find some reassurance in the fact that Bilbo was most likely travelling by foot whereas they were to use their ponies. They could easily catch up to the Hobbit if there weren't too many obstacles in their way.

Without wasting another second, the two Dwarves left the house immediately and conducted their ponies out of the Shire. The sun was nearly set by the time they had lost sight of the yellowed hill but both agreed that they would continue riding until the darkness proved to be too dense or they were too tired to continue. The latter one over the density of darkness, and though they had dismounted their ponies, they hadn't bothered to set up a proper camp.

When the sun arose once more, they continued riding and were soon out of the Shire. It was as night dawned upon them again that they encountered an inevitable obstacle. Piercing through the blackness was a faint orange lighting in the distance accompanied by the familiar roars and chants of laughter belonging to Dwarves. The two halted and exchanged weary looks.

"Do you suppose we should wait for them to fall asleep and sneak pass them?" Ori suggested in a whisper.

"I'm not sure…" Kíli admitted, struggling with his options, "Dol Guldur is definitely dangerous and if we ever have to venture in it, we'll need capable fighters by our sides…"

"There's no guarantee they'll accept to join us…" Ori stated, "Some of them actually believe that Bilbo was a traitor, like Dwalin."

"If the rest agree, I have the feeling that Dwalin would follow the group as to not be left out." Kíli speculated, "But the question is: do we risk it or not?"

They thought quietly, listening to the loud conversations of the company when an idea suddenly dawned on Ori. "How many fire crackers do you have left?"

* * *

The company laughed merrily as they listened to Dwalin and Nori compete over which had the most memorable stories. Apparently the two had travelled quite a bit before the quest for Erebor had taken place, they had also met interesting creatures and many people from different races. And though most' attention was concentrated on the storytelling Dwarves, Thorin's mind was distracted by a multitude of thoughts. He worried about seeing Bilbo again, he worried about the latter's condition, but his thoughts always returned to the silhouette he had seen the previous day.

He thought it curious that he was so preoccupied by something that hadn't been a threat to he or his friends. Normally, he would have discarded the memory and moved on, but the familiarity he felt upon seeing the vague shape in the darkness was unforgettable. He had felt as though he had seen someone he hadn't dared to consider for a long time…Actually, if he didn't know any better, Thorin would have said that he had seen—

"You seem quite distracted." Balin said.

"I am." Thorin admitted; he paused then quickly added: "I wish to return to Erebor quickly."

"Don't lie to me, laddie," Balin sighed but smiled warmly, "I've been caring for you since you could barely walk. I know you better than you think I do, and I know that Erebor is not one of your immediate concerns."

"I do not wish to be lectured, Balin." Thorin said coldly, "Especially in front of my company."

"Then I won't lecture you," Balin sighed again, "But I want you to know that Great Kings have fallen because they found themselves unable to let go of their image. I've been caring for you since you could barely walk, Thorin, and I don't want to see you fall."

"Do you honestly think a Hobbit will be enough to bring me down?" Thorin snorted.

"No," Balin answered, "But I believe that the love you still have for Bilbo, but persistently deny, will be enough."

"What do you mean a warg is more dangerous than a mûmakil!?" Nori snapped, jumping to his feet. His abrupt yelling cut Thorin and Balin's conversation short, "Have you ever _seen_ a mûmakil!? Those things are huge!"

"Well it's not like you fought it!" Dwalin defended with the same amount of anger and vigor, "You just ran from it! _I_ , on the other hand, had to deal with five wargs single handed!"

"Oh cry Mahal a river!" Nori spat, "We all fought a lot of wargs during the Battle of Five armies!"

"Hey!" Dori yelled, rising to his feet, "I think I see someone coming!"

The Dwarves quickly settled down and looked at the designated direction where they too noticed – not one, but two silhouettes heading their way. They all rose to their feet and reached for their weapons as a precaution, though they lowered their guards when Kíli and Ori came within view.

It took a moment for anyone to register who had just appeared before them, when Dwalin suddenly threw his hammer to the ground and charged the two thieves. Everyone else followed his example and soon, all were unleashing their furry on the youngest Dwarves – mainly Kíli who had orchestrated the whole affair.

"You could have been exiled!" Bofur cried, "What were you thinking!?"

"And why would you steal that gold!?" Gloín asked angrily, "You could have just _asked_ for it!"

"I swear you are in a world of trouble, Kíli!" Thorin growled, grabbing his nephew roughly.

"Wait!" Fíli yelled, silencing everyone who turned their gaze to him, "Where's Bilbo?"

"What do you mean?" Nori asked.

"They went to see Bilbo, to make sure he was well and safe," Fíli reminded, "Why would they leave so soon after getting to him?"

Then, all members of the company turned their curious gazes to the younger Dwarves who had been waiting for the opportunity to speak. "He left to Dol Guldur." Kíli said after a moment.

"Dol Guldur?" Balin gasped, he was one of the only ones who recognized the name, "Why would he go there?"

"We can't be sure…" Ori said slowly, looking at Kíli for guidance, "But, basing ourselves off the house's state, he most likely left to die."

"To die!?" Thorin repeated incredulously, "Why would you say that!? Do you have any reason to believe that!?"

"Bag End was in shambles," Kíli continued because Ori was too rattled by Thorin's tone to do so himself, "Everything was broken and dirty. Not only that but we found a trail of blood leading to his study. There were found a tipped chair, a broken noose, and no small quantity of blood. There were also a lot of scattered papers on the ground, all of which had 'Dol Guldur' written all over them. We left to go save him, uncle."

Thorin was abnormally quiet, staring at his nephew in disbelief as he processed what had just been revealed. Bilbo had attempted to kill himself but the poorly constructed noose broke and he survived. And then there was all the blood recently mentioned, if it did belong to the Hobbit, it was only a matter of moments before he would die from its loss...

"What do we do, Thorin?" Balin asked.

The King was suddenly very conscious about the eyes resting upon his person and of the decision he would have to take. Honestly, he wasn't sure what he should do but he wouldn't admit to that – he was far too proud. Instead, he attempted to see what the others expected him to say but even then, he was unable to make his verdict. He thought of the Dwarves at home, of his court and of the opinion most held in regards to Bilbo. If any of them were to learn that he became weak faced with the ghost of an old love, they would never respect him as a leader.

"Let the traitor die." He said coldly.

"What!?" Kíli snapped in surprise, "You can't be serious—"

"I've made my choice and it's final!" Thorin growled. He turned his back, releasing his nephew, "We will make way for Erebor and I will have none of your protests!"

"Uncle, you can't be serious—" Fíli attempted to reason, though he was soon cut off by the angered King.

"Do I look as though I'm performing a joke?" Thorin hissed.

"But you can't just—"

"Don't pretend that _you_ are in a place to order _me_!" Thorin yelled, "Now I've made my decision and will not go back on it! Tomorrow, we return to Erebor, but first I must stop at Rivendell. Thanks to this foolishness, I have to discuss trading opportunities with Lord Elrond."

"How can you just abandon him like that!?" Kíli cried.

"I am done speaking about the matter." Thorin stated icily.

"Well I'm not!" Kíli persisted, "Don't you remember that he never abandoned you!? You treated him horribly the first few moments you met, he almost left so many times but then he always stayed! Not only that but Bilbo put his life on the line for you! You owe him, uncle!"

"Kíli, you will cease speaking immediately—"

"I will not!" Kíli continued, more determined than ever, "Why should I have to stop my actions as a friend because you're on bad terms with Bilbo!? I'm not the one who's angry with him – at least, not anymore!"

"Kíli—"

"I came here with Ori to ask you to help us save Bilbo and fight whatever lurks around or in Dol Guldur because it will be dangerous!" Kíli said, his voice was slowly cracking with emotion, "But now I have your answer and I can honestly say that you've never disappointed me more than you have now! I looked up to you, uncle! You always seemed to have your priorities straight, your values were noble as were your ideals! But now you're just…pathetic. I'm going uncle. I'm going to Dol Guldur and you can't stop me."

Before Thorin could say anything to counter what his nephew had just uttered, Kíli and Ori suddenly pulled fire crackers from their pockets and set them alight on the ground. The sound and sparks startled the nearby ponies who began running in circles frantically while the company covered their faces and attempted to back away from the small explosions. The next thing they knew, Kíli and Ori raced by them and the latter yelled: "I promise to take care of Kíli!" as they escaped.

It had taken a moment to calm the ponies, and though all wanted to chase after them, they couldn't just leave their unpacked camp. With a growl of anger and frustration, Thorin resigned to chasing after the two immediately, knowing just how hopeless it would be. "Damn it all!"

"Uncle." Fíli said as he approached Thorin through the scattering smoke, "Is it true? Were you being honest? Did you mean to let Bilbo die?"

_No…_

"Yes." Thorin responded dryly, "He's a traitor and he deserves death."

"And what about Kíli and Ori?" the heir asked in a desolating tone, "They are going to Bilbo's aid thus they are traitors, do they deserve death as well?"

Thorin merely looked away with a frown.

* * *

**Two nights earlier…**

* * *

_I saw him! I saw him! There's no mistake it was him!_ Bilbo said to himself as he raced through the dark forest, low branches whipping against his bony body, leaving scars in their wake. _And he's as handsome as I remember him to be! Oh! My heart! I love him so much! Maybe I should go back—_

 **No** , a dark thought chimed at the back of his head, **He doesn't love you. Did you see how he reached for his sword when you approached?**

 _He was taking precautions;_ Bilbo reasoned, _he wouldn't have hurt me—_

 **Ha! You don't think he would have hurt you?** the dark thought laughed, **Don't you remember that he threatened to throw you down a wall? Foolish Bilbo, if he had the chance to lay his fingers on you, he would break every bone in your body!**

 _T-that's not true!_ Bilbo persisted to think, _He loves me! He wouldn't hurt me! In this darkness, it's natural to take prec—_

 **He doesn't love you Bilbo** , the thought amplified, **If he did, he would have understood why you did what you did so long ago. He doesn't love you.**

"Stop it!" Bilbo yelled, covering his ears as he started to run faster.

**He never loved you.**

"Stop!" Bilbo begged desperately, shaking his head frantically and closing his eyes.

**You were nothing but a good fuck to him.**

"No! Stop it!"

**His promises were empty. He was going to abandon you after he reclaimed his kingdom.**

"That's not true!" Bilbo cried as tears began to stream down his face, "Stop it! Lies! Lies!"

And suddenly, Bilbo tripped on a raise root of one of the ancient trees in the forest. He stumbled for two steps before landing face first in a pile of dirt. He laid on his stomach, hands clutching the ground as he sobbed, for quite some time before rolling on his back and looking at the black sky through the canopy. Once upon a time, Bilbo enjoyed gazing at the night sky, but this time, there were no stars and no moon to admire. The night was as empty and lifeless as Bilbo's soul.

"I love him…" Bilbo whimpered as his hand wandered to his pocket and began to finger a golden ring, "I love him so much…"

**He never loved you.**

"I just want this pain to end…" Bilbo nearly whispered.

**Go to Dol Guldur.**


	6. Run to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter was meant to be longer (like there was a part with Kili and Ori that I was meant to add at the end but decided to save for the next chapter) but worry not! Chapter 7, although it has not yet been written, will be published soon enough xP**
> 
> **Expect a two to three day wait (but don't hold me to that because I really don't know) lol**
> 
> **So I refer to a lot of Middle Earth related things in this story and felt that maybe I needed to inform you about them xDD**
> 
> **A mûmakil (mentioned the previous chapter) is what the people of Gondor call Oliphaunts. Expect more creatures to be mentioned next chapter because I have no life and go look up this stuff xD**
> 
> **As for the roads and paths and rivers and things that will be mentioned this chapter, I've invented nothing! You can see the map I used as a reference on my profile! So feel free to check it out and see where our Dwarves passed through xP**
> 
> **NOW ENJOY! Review and fav if you liked xP**
> 
> * * *

When morning came, the company quickly packed everything away and retraced their steps. They were moving faster than before; Thorin wanted to catch up to his nephew and Ori and had announced that the company would not sleep the upcoming night. They begrudgingly accepted the course of action though it was evident that none of them were pleased. The King had assumed that it was because none enjoyed skipping sleeping hours, which was understandable, but, in reality, they wanted to go to Bilbo's aid. Yet, none of them would admit to it because Thorin would only get angry.

In all honesty, they thought that Thorin had been incredibly harsh and cold. Even Dwalin, who had been the angriest with Bilbo, thought that his King might have crossed the line by letting the Hobbit die. Nonetheless, Dwalin never complained with Thorin's course of actions unless they were reckless. The Dwarven warrior was also the only one who understood why Thorin had acted as he did. Though others would have assumed that Thorin could have easily accepted to chase after Bilbo and save him, it wasn't as so. Bilbo was a traitor to Erebor and all the Dwarves of that kingdom agreed on the matter. To them, Bilbo was one of the worst scums – arguably worse than Smaug – to have entered their newly reclaimed home. Anyone who said otherwise or attempted to contact the Hobbit was consequently viewed as a defector themselves; thus, if Thorin were to have aided him, the people would have been betrayed. The whole matter was very political and moral which meant that nothing, in this situation, could be simple. And yet, the others persisted to think that the choices Thorin had to make were simple and would bear no repercussions, but they were horribly wrong.

The following hours passed quickly. The sun rose and fell without anyone truly realising so for most were trapped in their thoughts. Though they had stopped a few times to eat, no one spoke much for all were in a foul mood. Then, when the food was done, they packed what things they had taken out and resumed their journey hoping that they would have caught up to the young dwarves by the following night. Then again, most hoped that they would be forced to follow the escapees to Dol Guldur.

* * *

Luckily, Kíli hadn't been as bold as to rest so early. He had forced the ponies to work beyond their capacities and run for three days straight before Ori's collapsed as the third night fell upon them. Fortunately, they were near a stream and the prince allowed the ponies to fill their stomachs with water and gross while they devoured their dwindling supplies. When they had first travelled to the Shire, Ori had made them pass by Bree where they were able to replenish their provisions, but now neither of them dared to stop for too long lest the others caught up. Thorin's rage would be greater, no doubt, and neither wanted to confront it without having accomplished something.

"How long do you think we'll last like this?" Kíli asked as he finished a bread roll.

"We're about a day or two from the Misty Mountains…" Ori mused, "Cross through might take two more days whereas I have no idea how long before Dol Guldur."

"And what about our food?" Kíli questioned grimly, "How long before we run out?"

"If we're careful," Ori mused, "We can last for a week and a few more days."

"We really need to stop at a town…" Kíli groaned, "But if we do, they might catch up to us…"

"But there's no town to stop to at this point." Ori said, "I've examined the maps and, unless some brave folk decided to settle in the area, the nearest town is Thranduil's Halls and it's not even in our direction."

"I guess we'll only eat every two days." Kíli concluded grimly, "That way we'll last longer…For now, we'll sleep."

And so, without settling bedrolls in place, they slept on the grass in the darkness for they had not bothered to build a fire. When morning came, they jumped on their ponies' backs, to the beasts' dismay, and rode forth. Kíli had decided to slow their pace as to lower the strain on the ponies, but they nonetheless arrived at the foot of the mountains as the sun set again. Both were pleased by the progress they made but were now pondering in regards to Bilbo.

Bilbo was travelling by foot, and though he did have a head start, the Dwarves were travelling by horse. The gap created by the Hobbit was easily closable provided they could find a trail left by Bilbo otherwise they would have to venture to Dol Guldur and hopefully intercept him. However, the problem was judging how big the space was and if they were on the proper path or not. If they weren't they could have easily passed by Bilbo without noticing, but it wasn't as though they could risk waiting around. It seemed as though entering the cursed ruins was inevitable. Though Kíli knew it to be necessary in order to save the ex-burglar, another problem arose with travelling so far with so little provisions: there was no guarantee they could make it back to Erebor or any nearby homestead before dying of hunger. And what with the previous quarrel concerning Thorin, there was no assurance that the Dwarf King was going to follow them so far and in such a great level of danger. Thus they would be three left with a small amount of food and with the weapons they had to brave the threats populating Mirkwood.

"Do you think we'll make it back home?" Ori asked as they observed the fire they had constructed at the foot of the first of many mountains.

"Of course we will." Kíli snickered, "Why wouldn't we?"

"Well, for starters, the food—"

"Don't worry about the food." Kíli interrupted sharply, though he quickly smiled apologetically for his rudeness as he continued, "And if you ever get too hungry, you can always eat some of my portion. I'll be fine with whatever amount I have left."

"I-I'm not hungry!" Ori clarified, "I just—"

"Then don't worry about it." The prince interrupted again, "It's not time to worry yet."

And that was the end of their conversation in regards of the problems they would be faced with. Nonetheless, Ori did still judge that it would be good to think of prolonging their supplies and so, in the middle of the night, he would venture into the nearby greenery and collect as many edible berries as he could. The following morning, Kíli was pleasantly surprised to see their once empty food bags partially filled with small fruits but was angry with Ori for forsaking hours of sleep on his own. But due to the urging matter present, the argument was short lived and the Dwarves quickly made way through the mountains.

For the first part of the journey through the Misty Mountains, Kíli and Ori could afford sitting atop their ponies but the road soon became narrow and dangerous and they were forced off their backs. More than once did the ponies come close to tumbling off the side of the mountain; so close that the Dwarves carried their most precious belongings as to lessen the risk of losing them. Luckily, none of the beasts died and when they finally reached the other, safer side of the mountains, they upped their pace.

Neither of them knew where Bilbo was, if they had passed him or not, but, if they could, they wanted to arrive at Dol Guldur before the smaller creature and stop him from doing whatever it was he wanted to do.

* * *

The crossing of the mountains was less amusing and easy for Thorin and company. They had been a day behind the young escapees but the cross had stretched the gap to two days for, during their final day of crossing the mountains, a large storm erupted forcing them to find shelter immediately. One of their ponies had also perished in the process and though they had some to spare, it had still taken away a considerable amount of provisions with it.

Other than that, Gloín and Dori had caught colds during the crossing which also forced their pace to slow. Fíli had also decided to become the brat he had never been during his childhood and purposely delayed the packing of his things, scattered many objects and sabotaged quite a lot of things as to retard their departure. As to defend himself before any one could accuse him, he would say: "Pardon me, I never knew I could be so clumsy." and "I swear that I'm usually faster than this, but I don't know what the problem is today."

Of course, Thorin wasn't about to school his nephew or give him the satisfaction of seeing his irritation. The other could also easily argue that what he was saying was true – even if it wasn't – and defend his statement by declaring that Thorin was not him and thus knew not how he felt. Even then, Fíli made no effort whatsoever to hide his anger towards Thorin and though the later did feel the need to talk to his nephew and clear the matter, he knew he still wouldn't understand. One day, when he would be King, Fíli would maybe understand why certain decisions had to be taken even if they went against his interests.

Nonetheless, none could measure the company's happiness when the chain of mountains what officially behind them. They were then faced with a vast clearing at the end of which the first few trees of Mirkwood could be seen. Though they were meant to enter the forest, they wouldn't breach its perimeters soon for which Thorin was thankful. The group searched for signs indicating that the younger Dwarves had passed through the mountains the same way they had, and despite the fact that the horrible storm had erased most of their tracks, some still remained and Nori was able to deduce which direction they had taken.

The company followed the Old Ford road until they reached the Great River. The bridge that once stood above the mass of water had long since fallen and had been reduced to a pile of rubble. Thankfully, regardless of the previous storm, the water of the river was low enough to cross safely without having anyone or anything be dragged away by the current. Once on the other side, they followed the Great River southwards, slowly moving closer to the borders of Mirkwood.

Finally, after carefully examining the maps they had brought with them, Balin deduced that it was finally time to enter Mirkwood and begin to make way through the dark, gloomy forestry to reach Dol Guldur. As they neared the first row of trees, the company quickly spotted two ponies tied to a tree. Though it was rather obvious to whom they belonged to, it was only confirmed upon reaching them. The ponies they had found belonged to Kíli and Ori which meant that the two had proceeded by foot. The reason for which was rather evident, although they had yet to enter Mirkwood, the ponies were incredibly nervous and hard to tame. When the company attempted to enter upon the beasts' backs, they nearly threw a fit and refused to obey. Thus, as Kíli and Ori, they were forced to enter by foot.

"Keep your guards up." Thorin warned them before entering, "And make sure your weapons are within immediate reach."

With that, they stepped into the darkness of the ominous forest quietly. And the further they ventured, the less light managed to pass through the thick canopy until the company knew not whether it was day or night. They walked in silence for a few more hours in the estimated direction of Dol Guldur when, suddenly, a blood curling shriek was heard, echoing through the air from the south-west.

"That sounded like…"


	7. Yearning for Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So now we learned what was happening with Kili and Ori during the days they spent ahead of the rest of them company xP What sort of trouble they ventured into and if they found Bilbo and shit like that xD**
> 
> **I'm actually rather nervous about posting this chapter because, for some reason, I've been incredibly sleepy and I'm sure I made a lot of mistakes at the end xP Now you can easily say that all I had to do was review it but I'm too lazy to do that and I didn't really want to make you guys wait xP SO FORGIVE MY MISTAKES, I WAS TIRED AND I DON'T ALWAYS MAKE SENSE!**
> 
> **I hope this chapter is good, it was fun to write :D**
> 
> **Anyways, there are more creatures from Middle Earth mentioned here and I highly suggest you wiki search them real quick (to have a good visual aid) when you come across them.**
> 
> **ENJOY! Review and fav if you liked :D**
> 
> * * *

They stepped into the darkness of the ominous forest quietly. And the further they ventured, the less light managed to pass through the thick canopy until the company knew not whether it was day or night. They walked in silence for a few more hours in the estimated direction of Dol Guldur when, suddenly, a blood curling shriek was heard, echoing through the air from the south-west.

"That sounded like…"

* * *

**Two days earlier…**

* * *

"According to this map," Ori said as the ponies slowed to a halt, "Dol Guldur is somewhere ahead."

"And what about the food?" Kíli asked worriedly.

"We have about eight days' worth of food left." Ori informed.

"And what if we add Bilbo in the equation?" the prince continued to query.

Ori shook his head, "I don't know. It'll depend with his condition…" he answered, "And it's not as though we can gather some of the berries we find, most of them will be poisonous or hallucinogenic."

"Then do you think we can stretch out the gaps between meals?" Kíli suggested.

"No. The bread's going stale," Ori replied wearily, "And the berries are gradually soggier, soon everything will spoil. We best keep doing what we're doing right now lest we risk wasting it by waiting."

"Well it's too late to back down now." Kíli concluded with a heavy sigh, kicking his pony as to urge it forward, "We'll just decide what to do when the time comes."

The ponies began advancing forward, towards the tree line at a slow pace. And though the Dwarves attempted to up the speed, the closer the beasts got, the slower they were. Finally, when they were inches away from crossing into Mirkwood, the ponies refused to advance and threw fits when their owners attempted to force them. The two soon concluded that the ponies were officially useless and that they would have to leave them behind. Thus, not wanting them to run away if they ever needed them, they tied them to a tree and grabbed what valuables they could. Ori was charged with carrying his weapon and the medical pack they had brought as well as some little amount of gold whereas Kíli had his weapon and the food and water. It was a pity to abandon the remaining gold they had stolen from Erebor's treasury but it would have only been excessive weight. The two only hoped that no brigands would pass by while they were gone.

Then, when they were sure nothing important or useful was left behind, the two crossed the perimeters and entered Mirkwood. The light emitted by the bright sun in the clear sky quickly faded as the thick canopy above their heads grew very thick. It was as though night had suddenly fallen upon them without warning and neither could spot the outline of their hand inches from their faces. It was through vigorous debating that the two found a piece of wood and created a torch with what they had as to illuminate their way.

Although they were in a different part of the eerie forest, their surroundings resemble the area they first entered on their journey for Erebor. Many large trees, dead and alive, tall with low branches, stood erected or fallen around them. Their old roots ran deep in the ground and above as they soon concluded what with the constant tripping. Other than that and the vines raining from the leafy roof, a sort of mist was barely perceptible which added to the creepiness of the area. Their part of the forest was also very quiet. No bird nor insect dared bat their wings and no living critter risked a squeak or peep – that is, if there were any. Due to the silence and the surrounding eeriness, it was hard to imagine what sort of creature would live in such a place.

Suddenly, a branch snapping near them forced the Dwarves into a halt. They glared in the direction the sound had come from and quickly drew their weapons – Kíli inwardly cringed upon seeing his friend's slingshot. They stayed quiet for a moment, waiting for whatever had made the sound to step forward and confront them, but they only saw a red pair of eyes peering back before disappearing into the darkness. "Do we go after it?" Ori asked worriedly.

Kíli stayed silent for a moment, glaring back at the creature that once stood before them. Then he shook his head, "No but stay on your guard." He instructed with a seriousness he didn't know he had, "Who knows if that thing will come back…"

Thus they continued marching forth for many hours when, oddly, the canopy above their heads began to lessen and portions of the starry night sky could be seen above their heads. Kíli had gotten angry upon noticing such a thing for he believed that they were venturing out of the forest and had completely missed Dol Guldur, though he soon learned that he was wrong. When they stepped into a small clearing, Ori looked towards the sky and noticed odd shapes atop the peak of a small mountain. As Kíli continued to whine and complain about how little progress they had made, Ori quickly deduced that what he was seeing were the ruins of where they were meant to be headed.

And though the sight brought a certain level of joy to their hearts because it meant they were close to achieving their goal and leaving the forest, it brought dread as well. Dol Guldur was an incredibly dangerous place and though they had yet to encounter a real threat, it didn't mean they could lower their guard. Both still had the anonymous creature with red eyes on their minds and couldn't help but constantly peer back to see if it was following them.

"Do you think we should rest here for the night and continue when it's day?" Ori asked, breaking the silence that had dominated them.

"No." Kíli said, "We're about an hour away, we might as well get to it as soon as possible. And I don't know about you but I'm not very keen in sleeping in these parts; especially with that thing potentially lurking about."

But they did take a break. Kíli slipped the bag of provision off his back and offered a bread roll to Ori and took one for himself. They ate quietly yet greedily and shared some of the water in the prince's gourd. Then they rested silently, not daring to whisper in such a fowl place for fear of attracting the attention of a dangerous foe. Nonetheless, they quickly had enough of attempting to relax in such a perilous place and soon resumed their trail to Dol Guldur.

An hour later, they found themselves on an uneven stony road with roes of dead trees on either side. Though neither were keen on walking the ancient path, travelling through the dead trees and rugged ground seemed like more trouble than it was worth. Thus they walked on the stones with their weapons in hand, flinching at the slightest sound. Luckily, they reached the abandoned fortress without any confrontation whatsoever but even then they couldn't relax.

There was something incredibly amiss within the ruins of Dol Guldur – something evil. And as they penetrated the broken walls, covered with vines and moss, the more they simply wanted to leave, but their will to find Bilbo kept them from doing so. The eminent sense of danger also lurking about kept either of the Dwarves from uttering a call as to grab Bilbo's attention for a long time. However, when quietly searching the cracks and crevices of Dol Guldur proved to be ineffective and slow, Kíli resolved himself to call out for Bilbo.

At first, his voice was horribly shaky and the echo that remained after he had closed his mouth caused him to tense horribly and await a foe. Yet, after some time, when none came forward, he found more courage in himself to call again and louder. At some point, Ori too developed the courage to call out for the Hobbit and Dol Guldur soon became a very noisy place. Time and again, the Dwarves would stop calling out and listen as to deduce whether they had attracted a dangerous creature, but resumed shouting when they assumed they were still safe. Finally, after exhausting themselves by searching every single place in Dol Guldur, the young Dwarves collapsed against a wall in frustration.

"Maybe he's not here yet…" Ori supposed.

"Or maybe he's already…" Kíli didn't finish his sentence; he didn't want to assume the worst.

"We haven't found anything that indicated he died…" Ori stated as to comfort the prince.

"Well maybe he didn't die in this horrible place." Kíli hypothesized grimly, "Maybe he perished in the forest, fell off one of the Misty Mountains or drowned while crossing the Great River."

"And maybe he's alive." Ori supposed in a severe tone. "All we can do is wait at this point."

"But what if we passed him?" Kíli wondered aloud, "What if we passed right by him? If my uncle is chasing after us, who knows how long it'll be before he gets here and forces us away? Then Bilbo can reach this place and do whatever it was he was meant to do and no one could stop him—"

"I understand you're worried." Ori interrupted, "But creating negative scenarios isn't going to help. Try to calm down and we'll wait here until something happens."

Then there was a short lived moment of silence, quickly broken by Kíli who needed to speak to distract himself. "Hey Ori…" he mumbled, "Why did you come with me?"

"What do you mean?" the former asked with a small smile, "You forced me."

"I didn't really, did I?" Kíli said, seemingly oddly serious, "You could have said no, even if I was pestering you to say yes…why? You knew how dangerous it would be…"

"I didn't honestly think it would be _this_ dangerous." Ori chuckled lightly, "But…I guess I followed you because I was tired of reading books and studying maps. After the journey to reclaim Erebor, I lost the urge to stay in a safe place…and…"

"And what?" Kíli asked cocking his head to the side.

But the question was never answered for foot steps alerted them. The Dwarves jumped to their feet and unsheathed their weapons but soon lowered them when the creature came within sight. He was horribly pale, his hair was a tangled mess and his clothes hung loosely around his pitiably thin body paved with scars and mud. It was as though he hadn't eaten and bathed in months – nay years! And when their gazes were locked upon him, it seemed as though time itself was brought to a halt just so they could take in the deplorable sight that was Bilbo Baggins.

"Bilbo…" Kíli whispered, breathless.

"You said no one would be here!" Bilbo suddenly shrieked, clutching at his head like a mad man. "You lied to me! You lied to me!"

"Bilbo, calm down!" the prince urged taking a step forward.

"I wanted the pain to end!" the poor Hobbit sobbed, "You said you would let me die here…and now you conjure his nephew who wears his face! You lied!"

"Bilbo please—"

"Stay away from me, you illusion of black sorcery!" Bilbo growled violently, moving away.

"Please listen to us, Bilbo." Ori tried, seeing that whatever Kíli was attempting to do was failing.

The Hobbit's large eyes suddenly darted in the youngest Dwarf's direction. "And why him? Why is he here?" he whispered maniacally to himself, "Didn't they all hate me?"

"No one hates you Bilbo—" Ori tried.

"That's not true!" Bilbo shouted, moving away again. "You just want to keep me here so that you can torture me some more! I won't have it! I will not! Good morning—or rather, good night!"

"Bilbo wait—"

But the Hobbit ignored them as he tried to run through, yet Kíli wouldn't allow it. He quickly snatched Bilbo as he passed by and held him tightly against his chest, desperately trying to control his insane flailing. The smaller being soon began shrieking horribly, hitting the Dwarf prince in a desperate attempt to escape his clutches.

"Bilbo please calm down!" He pleaded loudly, muffling the Hobbit's cries.

"Horrible illusion of pain!" Bilbo cried, "Release me!"

"Bilbo! I'm not an illusion, I'm really here!" Kíli persisted, "If I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to touch you and you would be free by now!"

"B-black magik—"

"It's not, Bilbo," Kíli said, his voice soft as the Hobbit's struggles lessened, "It's not black magik; no black magik could ever achieve what it is you're imagining."

"That…that's not true!" Bilbo struggled again, "You can't be here! You can't! I saw the look in your eyes when I was sent away from the wall, from Erebor! You hated me just as much as your uncle! You hate me! You hate me! You hate me! You can't be here! You're not real!"

"But I am, Bilbo!" Kíli insisted, looking Bilbo in the eyes, "I know some things happened way back then…I know I was angry, but I never hated you. I understand why you did what you did now, I really do. You cared for us so much; all you wanted to do was spare our lives. I understand, and I don't hate you."

Bilbo's eyes widened and watered as his lower lip began to tremble, "But…" he choked out, "he said you hated me…all of you…"

The Dwarf prince's grip softened seeing that the agitated Halfling was calmer now. " _He_? Who's _he_?"

" _He_ …" Bilbo mumbled, suddenly becoming very distant as his hand lowered to his pocket absently, " _He_ …whispers to me… _he_ says he whispers the truth…and only the truth…"

"Well it's a lie!" Kíli declared, snapping Bilbo out of his sort of trance, "It's a lie because we care about you! And the proof of that is that we came to such a dangerous place just to save you, to protect you!"

"To protect me…?" Bilbo repeated bewilderedly.

"Yes." The prince confirmed, "We're here to protect you from yourself…and from the other things lurking about. This is a very dangerous place that you've come to you know…"

"But we can speak of that later," Ori chimed in softly as he moved closer to the two, "Let me looks at your wounds Bilbo. I'm not a skilled medic but I've learned a few things from books, I'll mend what I can and we'll fix you up properly later."

Slowly, Bilbo peeled himself away from Kíli and revealed his arms to the young Dwarf. His upper arms were covered in scabs and dried blood; the wounds also seemed incredibly deep and Ori wondered how it was that he still lived. Nonetheless, he fished out some ointment and spread the substance on the wounds, careful to warn Bilbo that it would sting before he covered the cuts with bandages.

As Ori continued to examine the Hobbit's body and apply more ointment where it was needed, Kíli fished for the food they had brought with them. The latter offered a bread roll to Bilbo and winced when he devoured it hungrily in a matter of seconds. He couldn't help but wonder how much he had suffered to have been reduced to such a state.

"How…did you survive this long…?" Kíli wondered aloud.

" _He_ helped me…" Bilbo answered quietly.

"Well I guess I'm thankful for that much," he shrugged, then smiled when Bilbo looked at him, "I was so afraid that we were going to find you…dead. I'm glad you're okay."

And for the first time since they were reunited, Bilbo's frown cracked to a smile – but sadly, it was short lived. An alerting crack was heard and soon many distinct cackles resounded sinisterly, approaching them at a leisurely pace. Ori quickly dropped the bandages he was holding and reached for his slingshot whereas Kíli unsheathed his bow and readied an arrow. Then, about twenty pairs of beady red eyes appeared within the darkness.

As the creatures moved closer to the Dwarves' torch, their odd shapes and horrendous appearances were revealed. Their skin was as black as coal, easily camouflaging them in the darkness even if it did sag disgustingly. Their beady crimson eyes were proven to be much smaller than the Dwarves imagined upon absorbing the sight of their deformed faces. Their teeth were horribly crooked, growing out of their darkened gums in odd angles resembling the deformity of their clawed fingers. Truly, they seemed as though they had been conjured from nightmares.

"What are they?" Kíli whispered to Ori as he continuously shifted his aim, not sure which he should kill first.

"I don't know." Ori whispered back nervously, "I've never read about any creatures of their likes before."

"They're Mewlips…" Bilbo said wearily, "Hobbits that were seduced and corrupted by darkness…they prey on passing travellers or those who seek them…"

"Great!" Kíli hissed angrily, "We're in trouble now!"

"D-do we attack them?" Ori stuttered nervously.

"I don't know how strong they are…" Kíli replied, "I'm not sure we can take them…"

"We can't just let them have us as prisoners…" Ori protested feebly, "They'll eat us!"

As the two continued to argue while the Mewlips drew closer, Bilbo's mind was suddenly cast to somewhere incredibly far away. Slowly, the sounds of the current situation were muffled by a deafening whistling and the heavy beating of his heart. Then, familiar whispers were added to the symphony of hypnotizing sounds.

 **Home…** they said, **We're going home…**

"Can…I come with you?" Bilbo asked slowly.

 **No…** they said, **We don't need you anymore…you've served your purpose…**

"My…purpose?" Bilbo repeated confused.

 **You brought us to our master…** they explained, **that was all we desired…you are no longer needed now…and you will die…**

"But…" Bilbo mumbled, "I'm…I'm not sure I want to die anymore…"

**It is not your choice…it has** _**never** _ **been** _**your** _ **choice…**

Bilbo suddenly snapped back to reality when he was pushed harshly to the ground. Before he could assess the situation properly, a disgusting black face was inches away from his, ready to sink its fangs in his flesh. Luckily, Kíli noticed in time and pulled the Mewlip from Bilbo and quickly stabbed his sword into its head, spilling its black blood. Then, Bilbo sat and observed the scene displayed before him, attempting to understand what had happened during the seemingly short time he had zoned out.

He noticed five Mewlips laying on the floor not too far away from where he was with arrows sticking out of their misshaped skulls. To their left was one Mewlip slowly recovering from a blow to the head; and when the Hobbit noticed Ori wielding his slingshot inches away, he concluded that the creature must have received a heavy blow. It was then that Bilbo realised just how tired he was for the passed few days, it had seemed as though his energy had been eternal. He looked up at the sky and noticed that there was some light piercing through the everlasting dark clouds looming over Dol Guldur; though he still couldn't identify the time of day. His gaze then slowly shifted to Kíli, who was surrounded by quite a few Mewlips, but defending himself efficiently nonetheless.

Bilbo's eyes locked with Kíli's which surprised the former for he believed that the prince shouldn't have risked such a thing in such a perilous situation. Then, Kíli yelled something and the desperate look on his face seemed to indicate that it whatever he uttered was incredibly important. However, Bilbo hadn't manage to until the prince repeated himself.

"Bilbo! Behind you!"

He looked behind him, unaware of the eminent danger lingering behind and froze upon seeing a nightmarish figure. A wraith loomed above him wielding a dagger, which was ready to stab through his flesh, and it would have if Bilbo hadn't dodged the blow. Without thinking, he rolled to the side, evading the lethal blow and jumped to his feet. The wraith shrieked in pure anger and swung at Bilbo again though the latter still managed to avoid the blade.

In the meanwhile, the remaining Mewlips who had noticed the wraith immediately fled the location; abandoning the Dwarves they had been so keen on devouring. Though there was some relief in being temporarily rid of a threat, it was short lived for their next problem was dealing with the wraith attacking Bilbo. It lifted its dagger high above its head again, aiming for the Hobbit once more, and, without thinking, Kíli charged in, blocking the blow with his sword. He pushed the wraith away and urged Bilbo to stand behind him as he confronted the sinister spectre.

"Ori!" Kíli called, "What can you tell me about that thing?"

"I-I don't know!" Ori stuttered as he desperately searched for knowledge in his memory, "Wraiths were beings – often Men – who were corrupted by evil and continued to live even after death. They—"

"I want to know how to defeat them, Ori!" Kíli snapped, blocking another blow.

"I-I'm not sure!" Ori nearly cried, "I don't think anyone's ever defeated these things…"

Kíli managed to push the wraith back roughly, creating a large gap, which also caused it to screech in frustration. The sound was so loud and high pitched that it forced the Dwarves and Bilbo to cover their ears, fearing that they would explode if the sound wasn't blocked. The wraith then charged Kíli again, overwhelming him with a long and rapid chain of attacks.

Due to his concentration being focused on his immediate foe, Kíli didn't notice the arrival of a second wraith from behind Bilbo and Ori. **Your time is up, ring-bearer…** Bilbo peered behind him and his eyes widened considerably when faced with the wraith and the dagger swinging down. He had noticed the danger far too late and was unable to avoid the blow, thus the dagger buried himself in his chest. He unleashed a blood curling shriek, distracting Kíli for a moment – nearly costing it his life – and crumbled to the floor.

* * *

"That sounded like…"

"Bilbo…" Thorin finished in a breathless tone.

* * *

***Mewlips aren't necessarily Hobbits gone evil but since little is known about them and they star in Hobbit folk-lore, I thought it was a safe bet xP**


	8. Hold me Tight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Ladies and women (because there are no gentlemen here as far as I'm concerned) the next chapter has finally been released!**
> 
> **You might wonder why it took me so long to write this but I had actually written something about 3000 words long when I decided I wasn't satisfied with it, erased everything and rewrote it xP Yeah, I do that lol.**
> 
> **Actually, I rewrote this chapter twice and, you know, the third time's the charm! xP**
> 
> **So...yeah...**
> 
> **Another reason for the delay is that I have a lot of things...wait, no, I have ONE thing to do for school and some tests to study for but, nonetheless, it's my last year and I have to make sure I'm freaking awesome. But yeah, that one thing I have to do for school is very time consuming and, well, I need to do it xP**
> 
> **So I guess it's sad to say but don't expect another update until late June because then I'll be done school xP**
> 
> **Until then, ENJOY! Fav and review if you liked and also feel free to rant about how displeased you are with the things I have to do xP I'll most likely agree with you anyways lool**
> 
> * * *

**Your time is up ring bearer…**

**We're going home…**

**And you will die…**

**We no longer have any need for you…**

**Our master is here…**

* * *

Bilbo gasped awake, breathing heavily and covered in sweat. An alarming pain stabbed at him, just above his heart, and before long he realised he was sitting in a rather comfortable bed. The silk sheets were agreeable and cool against his skin, sending pleasant shivers down his spine but those went unnoticed as he absorbed the beauty of the room. No stone walls with wonderful carvings locked him in place, rather massive tree roots which beautifully rained around him and also created the floor beneath. The place seemed awfully familiar but the pain at his shoulder was distracting and Bilbo couldn't concentrate on locating himself.

"Where am I…?" he muttered absently to himself. "Is this…the afterlife…?"

But no answer came and in addition to feeling terribly scared, Bilbo felt incredibly alone. He dropped his head between his shoulders, resting his chin against his chest as he breathed deeply and tried to understand what was happening. His eyes soon caught the look of his hands and he cringed when he noticed just how bony they were. However, the memory of how he had barely eaten anything for months or years – the details were lost in his confused mind – returned to surface and all was relatively explained. He then raised his bony fingers to the bandage wrapped around his chest and shoulder, fingering the fabric tentatively as he lost himself in absent mindedness.

 _My shoulder hurts…_ he thought to himself, _I wonder why…_

Then his fingers dropped to his side, searching for something in a pocket he couldn't find. When he grazed no fabric on any parts of his body, Bilbo was suddenly very alarmed. His mind began racing and he searched his body desperately for what he sought before realising that he was wearing no clothes.

 _The ring! My ring! My ring!_ He thought desperately as he began searching the bed with agitation, throwing the covers about the room, _I need my ring! Where is it!? Where is it!?_

He quickly jumped off the mattress with the intention of looking beneath it for his ring when he collapsed under his weight. Bilbo persistently tried to get back on his feet and search the room but he could not manage to gather the force necessary to do so. For some reason, he had become very weak and he knew not why. And when he realised just how hopeless it was and that he would no longer be able to find his ring, that it had left him behind, he wept. Laying on the polished, wooden floor, he cried at the loss and the persisting desperation he felt in regards to the ring who so horribly desired.

"Lost it…" he chocked between his wracked sobs, "It's lost…"

Suddenly, a door that had gone unnoticed to poor Bilbo swung open and in came a familiar face unidentifiable to the sad Hobbit. "Bilbo?" he called softly, entering the room a bit more, he quickly became alert by its condition and Bilbo laying naked on the ground, "Bilbo!"

Still in a state of serious confusion, Bilbo cowered away at the person running towards him with the intentions of aiding. Although he was familiar, Bilbo couldn't place him and in no way wished to have him near his naked self. "Stay away!" the Hobbit cried, raising his fists defensively. "Don't come any closer!"

"Bilbo…" he muttered softly and in a broken tone. "Bilbo it's me…"

"Back off!" Bilbo hissed as the other attempted to move closer again, "Get away from me!"

"Bilbo…"

"If you don't I'll—" but his threat ended there for Bilbo knew not what he would do to defend himself. He had no way of adequately do so for he was unarmed and without his ring.

"You'll what?" he asked, crumbling to his knees with a sorrowful expression, "Bilbo, look at you, you're in a horrible condition. Don't you remember what happened? Don't you remember me?"

And as the stranger's brown eyes watered with pity, Bilbo felt another wave of familiarity. It seemed as though the stranger's name was just on the tip of his tongue and if he thought about it just a little more, the memories would flood back but something seemed to be blocking them. He cringed, holding his head, frustrated by his inability to remember when, unexpectedly, the stranger lunged for him and wrapped his arms around his naked form, cradling him against his chest. He buried his head between his shoulder and neck, his scruffy beard itching against his fragile skin as he trembled to hold in tears.

"I don't understand how you forgot…" he muttered shakily, "Thranduil said you would be okay…"

"Thranduil…" Bilbo repeated and eventually remembered the Elven King of Mirkwood. "Elves are immortal…" he added in a mumble.

"They are…" the stranger said, though he seemed confused by the former statement's purpose.

"So I'm not dead…" Bilbo concluded slowly, "And…I'm in Mirkwood…how did I get here?"

The stranger separated himself from Bilbo, confusion evident in his eyes as he looked him over strangely. "I don't understand how you can't remember anything…" he mumbled, "You weren't hit on the head…maybe it was something Thranduil gave you…"

That time the Elven King's name echoed in his mind. The stranger continued to speak but Bilbo was lost in the echoing of his head. An abrupt stinging pain forced him to shut his eyes and images appeared to him in his mind. He could see a horrific Wrath holding a blade up, ready to strike and remember the familiar pain of the dagger slashing through his flesh, dangerously close to his heart. Then there was that stranger again, he was yelling his name and the next thing he knew, the Wrath was gone and he and another were hovering above him with worried expressions. And then—

**We no longer have any need for you, Ring bearer…**

His eyes sprung open and, inches from his face, was the stranger who stared at him with great concern. "Are you alright Bilbo?" he asked hurriedly.

"Yeah…" he mumbled absently and then smiled, "I'm fine…Kíli…"

A large smile spread across Kíli's face and he nearly crumbled into a fit of tears of joy. However, he settled for crushing the Hobbit into another hug and laughing in relief, "Oh Mahal…" he breathed, "I was so worried! How could you have forgotten us?"

"Well, I woke up disoriented and confused…" Bilbo smiled, patting the Dwarf's back, "So I guess the rest self-explanatory."

"Doesn't matter!" Kíli cheered tightening his grip, "All that matters is that you're safe now and you'll get better!"

Bilbo forced a smile though it quickly faded as his mind returned to the ring. "Kíli…" he said softly, "Where are my clothes?"

"We threw them out." Kíli answered happily, "They were ruined and far too big for you—"

"You threw them out!?" Bilbo snapped, and he was suddenly very angry with the Dwarf.

"They were—"

But Bilbo ignored him completely. A blast of adrenaline pulsing through his body quickly got him to his feet and he used his new found energy to run out of the room. Kíli's protests had gone by unnoticed and unheeded while Bilbo dashed through the zigzagging corridors bumping into scandalised Elves along the way. He needed to find his ring; he needed to get it before it was gone forever.

However, arms suddenly sprang out of nowhere, trapping him against another's taller and bigger form. He continued to struggle for a few more moments, ordering to be let go and that he was acting in such a manner due to an emergency when his captor whispered into his year. "Calm yourself Bilbo Baggins," Thranduil's mesmerising voice hummed in his ear, and he relaxed against his will. "You are in no condition to be running around my halls not to mention that you are unclothed."

"I-I need to find my…clothes…" Bilbo tried to explain though he was suddenly becoming very sleepy.

"We threw them out; you will be given better ones." Thranduil hushed.

"No! I need—"

"If it means so much to you," Thranduil interrupted, "I will have my servants fetch them though I can't guarantee that they will still be intact…"

"I need them…" Bilbo whispered, and at that point he could barely keep his eyes open.

"Hush now, Bilbo Baggins," Thranduil hummed agreeably, "We will do our best, but we cannot guarantee anything."

Bilbo then fell asleep.

* * *

After having heard of the commotion caused by Bilbo, Thorin got to the Hobbit's room as quickly as he could though he still got lost along the way. When he had finally reached the proper location, he found Thranduil emerging from it and closing the door quietly behind him. Their gazes locked and they both exchanged glares as Thorin decided to move closer.

"What do you want?" Thranduil hissed.

"I came to see the Hobbit." Thorin responded icily, "I know he's awake now."

"I am afraid I cannot allow that." Thranduil said with a frown.

"I don't see why you're in a position to deny me access to Bilbo." Thorin replied.

"Then perhaps you do not remember that I have welcomed you into my home in which you now stand." The Elven King reminded, "Not only that but, regardless of the hostilities between our two kingdoms, I have still aided you when you were assaulted by Giant Spiders and when you pleaded for me to do save Bilbo Baggins and treated you respectably thus far. Your hunger has been satiated, the wounds some of you bore were mended, and you have been given comfortable beds. I would also have you know that Bilbo Baggins was named friend of Elves by me and that I value him as a friend. And, from what I gather, a possible reason for his decent into madness was the manner in which you treated him. I do not wish for his condition to be aggravated by your hurtful words or merely by your presence."

"I need to speak to him." Thorin persisted, "What happened between us in none of your concern."

"Your right, it is not." Thranduil agreed, "But Bilbo Baggins, my friend, is of my concern. I will not allow you to harm him in any way. Now leave before you anger me for I feel the impulse to throw the lot of you out of my kingdom and I do not know how long it will take before I capitulate."

"I _will_ speak to him!" Thorin snapped loudly, "I will be _damned_ if I allow an _Elf_ to keep me from my love!"

"Your love?" Thranduil snorted, "Are you not aware of the cruel way you've treated him!? You nearly threw him from that wall all those years ago; you've spouted horrible things and wished death and misery upon him! Do you know how broken he was when we brought him back to our camp!? He could barely speak to us and only communicated with us with nods of the head! The last time I saw him; he was empty but forced a smile on his face nonetheless! You cannot begin to understand the pain in which you made him suffer through and I will not allow you to rekindle it regardless of your seemingly good intentions!"

Thorin was at a loss of words; everything Thranduil had said was true and, though he did not witness it for himself, he knew it would only be bad on him if he denied it. However, even then he knew it had to be true otherwise, why would have Bilbo supposedly tried to hang himself in Bag End? Granted, that too he had not seen but Kíli and Ori had had no reason to lie to him. Then the realisation sank in; Bilbo had attempted to kill himself and it was entirely his fault. He was a horrible person and he needed to fix his mistake as best as he could immediately.

"I—"

"I do not wish to hear it." Thranduil interrupted coldly, "Now hush your voice lest we awake Bilbo who has so recently fallen asleep. Off with you and if any of my servants or guards catch you attempting to walk pass this door, you will suffer my wrath."

Hesitantly, Thorin left, frustrated with admitting defeat but he consoled himself by thinking that it was best for Bilbo. Thranduil watched him leave quietly, gently leaning on the door and only exhaling when the Dwarf King was out of sight and out of ear shot. "He is gone." He whispered to Bilbo who he knew was pressed against the door and had listened to their entire conversation.

"Why…why was he here?" Bilbo asked after a pause.

"Would you believe that he carried you here?" Thranduil asked.

"No…" Bilbo answered quietly.

The Elven King opened the door to look at Bilbo who at least had the decency to cover himself with a silk blanket this time. "Good." Thranduil smiled softly. "He does not deserve your forgiveness. However, you are a forgiving creature, Bilbo Baggins, and I at least plea you to remain angry with him for a little longer."

There was another pause, though this one was shorter, "I need my clothes."

"My servants are fetching them." Thranduil said soothingly, "Now go back to bed and rest. Soon they will return with your clothes and food, but until then sleep."

Thus the Elven King guided Bilbo back to his room and made sure that he fell asleep in the comfort of the loaned bed before retreating. Then, as to assure that Bilbo wouldn't try to escape, he stationed two Elf guards in front of the doors though they were present more to keep Thorin at bay than anything.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **How Bilbo and the rest of the company got to Mirkwood will be explained next chapter lol**
> 
> **Whenever that comes out xP**


	9. Happiness in Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So don't even start expecting more updates xP**
> 
> **I didn't know whether I was going to make another chapter until late June but, apparently, I was confident enough not to take note of a book today and spend my free time writing this chapter (I feel I deserve it after the amount of hand writing I had to do today)**
> 
> **So yeah, again, I'm very busy and I actually only wrote this because I felt bad for the gap of the last update xP**
> 
> **Also, I thought this story was getting gloomy (well gloomier since it was already gloomy) so I decided to add a sort of 'happiness in darkness' at the end. No that's not a sex metaphor.**
> 
> **Anyways, ENJOY! Review and fav if you liked xP Feel free to encourage me to actually work so I can have more time to write more chapters lol**
> 
> * * *
> 
> **PS: A lot of you guys keep saying 'update soon' or things like that and though a few others might think of it as something pressuring and annoying, I think it's really sweet :D What am I trying to say? Well, I want to say thank you because whenever you guys say 'update soon' or something like that, it tells me that you really enjoy my story and want to read more :) But that doesn't mean I get offended when others say 'update at your leisure' because that makes me happy too because you're telling me to take my time and I expect you to be there when I'm done a chapter lol.**
> 
> **PSS: Just got sappy there lol**
> 
> **PSSS: Guys, really, don't expect anything much for the rest of the month and beyond (maybe a little more in June) because I really am busy xP**
> 
> * * *

Hours later, Bilbo awoke from an enchanted sleep to the smell of delicious Elven food. he quite enjoyed Elven food, unlike some others, and when there was a feast of it before his eyes, he couldn't help but gawk at it with a gluttonous lust. Thranduil sat at next to his bed quietly but couldn't help but smile and comment on Bilbo's reaction. "You can eat it, you know," he chuckled at the Hobbit who flinched and stared at him with wide eyes, "You are not limited to only staring."

Thus Bilbo devoured the food within his immediate reach in mere seconds earning a scowl from Thranduil. "I understand you are hungry," the Elven King said, "However, it is not healthy to eat to quickly! And chew your food before you swallow or else you might choke!"

Of course, Bilbo had only heeded his warnings when he had actually choked on one of the many meals, "Sorry." He mumbled childishly before eating at a slower pace.

Thranduil smiled beautifully, shrugging off the apology as he observed the small creature in bed eat to its fill. "You are horribly thin." Thranduil remarked quietly.

"I haven't eaten in a while…" Bilbo admitted, and suddenly he remembered his clothes, "My—"

"They are on that desk," Thranduil interrupted and pointed at a desk near the door with his chin, "I did not forget. Your clothes are a tad ruined but—" he paused and watched the Hobbit jump out of bed, dashing for his clothes with intrigue. He saw Bilbo's excessively greedy gaze when he fished through all the pockets desperately until he seemingly grabbed something and stared at it eerily for a long moment. Thranduil cleared his throat as to remind Bilbo of his seemingly forgotten presence before continuing. In response, Bilbo jolted violently and hid whatever it was he had been holding into one of the pockets, "—they are still decent enough I suppose."

"Y-yes…" Bilbo agreed in an odd tone.

And for a moment, the two stared at each other wordlessly, Bilbo seeming much more agitated than before which intrigued the Elven King all the more. "Well, are you going to finish the food?" Thranduil finally asked after a moment, "It would be a shame to waste it after I specifically told my finest chefs to have each dish be fitting for a Hobbit."

"A-ah, of course." Bilbo stuttered and hesitantly returned to his bed.

He glanced at his clothes rapidly as he made his way back to his bed and repeatedly peeked back at it as he ate. Naturally, Thranduil, being the observant Elf he was, easily noticed though never said a word. He assumed that, the thing in Bilbo's clothes was an object he had grown very much attached to during his madness which reminded him of something happy though Thranduil could have never imagined that it was the Ring.

* * *

"How was he?" Ori asked.

Kíli, having been elected by the other members of the company to sneak pass the Elves and find Bilbo, had just returned to them with a dismayed expression. Evidently, the company was horribly worried and anxious to hear what had happened.

"I'm not sure…" he admitted, "I'm not…I don't…"

"Calm down, laddie." Balin said, noticing how frustrated the youth was, "Just tell us what happened."

"Did you make it?" Bofur asked, "Did you get to see him?"

"I did…" Kíli answered, taking a seat next to Fíli and Ori, "but…when I walked in, he was on the ground and he was crying. I ran to him, wanting to help him, but he didn't remember me at first. He wanted me to leave and not come near him."

"That's odd." Oín said, "I hadn't noticed any bumps on the head when I examined him myself."

"Maybe it was that weird crap the Elven King gave him." Gloín speculated, "Never trust an Elf!"

"No!" Kíli shook his head with frustration, "Bilbo eventually remembered, he said he had been very confused and disoriented for a minute. I think it might have been caused by the poison that almost killed him more than anything."

"Makes sense," Oín said, "That poison had him foaming from the mouth and quivering insanely; it would only be natural that temporary repercussions of the sort would have been left behind."

"But continue now." Fíli ushered his brother, worry evident in his eyes.

"I hugged him when he remembered me," Kíli continued, "I was so happy but then, when he asked me about his clothes, he became…strange. I told him that we discarded them from him and threw them out and he got very angry. Before I could stop him, he ran out of the room at an insanely fast pace and I couldn't keep up with him."

"We need to get his clothes back then!" Fíli concluded, ready to jump to his feet if his brother hadn't added anything.

"The Elves are already taking care of it." Kíli informed with a sigh, "I called them for help because I didn't know what else to do. Then, I met with the Elven King in a corridor and he was carrying Bilbo who was sound asleep…."

"What happened after?" Ori asked.

"He was oddly…kind…" Kíli said in a tone of utter confusion, "He told me that Bilbo was fine albeit a little agitated but now he was asleep. He said he would bring him back to his room and when he would awake again, he would be given as much food as he needed and that, until he was mentally ready for visitors, we should not try to see him..."

"He's clearly up to something!" Bofur exclaimed, "We deserve to see Bilbo!"

"Yeah!" the others agreed and they all began to rant about how detestable Elves were and how they would find a way to see their Hobbit friend. Though the more they chatted about their plan, the more Kíli got irritated which was odd for the young troublemaker.

"Would you all shut up!?" he snapped violently, "Think about what you're all wanting to do! If I was the only one who went to see him and he reacted in such a way, how do you suppose he'll take seeing all of you again? And don't forget that the last time he saw any of you – except for Ori – you had all declared your hatred towards him!"

"What!? That's not true!" Dori objected, "The last time he saw us was shortly before we entered Thranduil's Halls!"

"No, he was unconscious when that happened!" Kíli nearly growled, "If he had been conscious, he would have mentioned something about my Uncle which he didn't! Now all of you should stop acting like idiots and think carefully about your position in regards to Bilbo!"

With that, Kíli angrily got to his feet and stomped away. The members of the company watched him in awe as he left and only Ori had found the courage to run after him. "What's his problem?" Nori snorted.

"This is his first time seeing someone close to him suffer so much," Dwalin sighed, "The wounded soldiers of the Battle of Five Armies was one thing, Bilbo is another. The lad doesn't know how to take it."

"He's always been very emotional…" Fíli muttered.

They were silent for a short moment when their angry leader, Thorin Oakenshield, came stomping back after forcing his way through the barrier of Elves that was meant to keep him away from Bilbo. He walked over to the circle the company had created around a fire and marched around them, muttering in rapid Dwarfish to himself until he turned his attention to his people.

"Where's Kíli?" he asked, "Did he manage to see Bilbo?"

"He left and yes." Dwalin answered bluntly.

"And?" he demanded to know.

"Bilbo's not doing so great." Bofur answered with a sigh, "When the lad mentioned that we threw away his clothes, he threw a fit and ran off."

"So…he doesn't remember then…?" Thorin asked slowly, absently rubbing the red hand mark on his neck hidden by his hair.

"It seems that he doesn't." Gloín said, "Though Kíli believes that Bilbo was unconscious when he attacked you before we entered Thranduil's Halls."

"Unconscious?" Thorin repeated with a snort, "He was very much conscious or else he wouldn't have moved an inch."

"Perhaps the lad meant unaware," Gloín shrugged, "the point is, Kíli believes that the poison was what was controlling the Hobbit at the time."

"I do prefer that explanation…" Thorin mumbled as he began to stab the tip of his fingers into the mark.

Though he desperately attempted to resist the memory, he couldn't. The more the company talked about it, the more he could see everything unfolding before his eyes clearly. He could see the Hobbit dying in Oín's arms at the tip of an uneven stony road leading to Dol Guldur while he was being examined for additional wounds. He could remember the desperation he had felt and remembered the feeling of Bilbo, as light as a feather, cradled in his own arms when he had ripped him from Kíli's grasp. He remembered running through the darkness of the forest, his heart pumping fast and his throat burning, jumping over raised roots of old trees and ducking under some others all the while whispering to Bilbo to hold on for just a little longer. Then he remembered the horrible fretfulness of when a dozen giant spiders jumped from the canopy and blocked his path. He remembered feeling completely helpless and weak, doomed to watch the love of his life, who he had treated so horribly, die from the agony of a poison spreading through his body. However, when he thought all was done for, the Elves arrived and slaughtered the giant spiders in mere moments. Leading them was Thranduil – and now that Thorin thought about it, the Elf might have only been present because he had somehow found out that he was part of the group sprinting across his forest – but that didn't matter because, if it wouldn't have been for him, Bilbo wouldn't have lived. He could clearly see Bilbo's choking face and the Elven King's glowing healing magik attempting to cure the plague just above his heart. It was when Thranduil had ordered Thorin to remove Bilbo's shirt that the latter, regardless of his incredibly weakened state, managed to move wildly.

Clasping his bony fingers around Thorin's neck he yelled frantically, "Thief! Thief! It's mine! It's mine! Mine! You can't have it!" until Thranduil had knocked him unconscious.

Distraught by the words, Thranduil later explained that Bilbo had most likely just gone mad from the poison and blurted out meaningless insanities. However, Thorin had somehow felt as though the Hobbit might have been taking out some of his anger on him.

"Are you alright, lad?" Balin asked, interrupting the Dwarf King from his train of thought.

"Wha—ah, yes." Thorin answered.

"You seem a bit pale." Balin noticed, "Why don't you sit down?"

"I think I'll be fine…" Thorin declined, "I'll just…go out for a short walk…"

* * *

Kíli had somehow found himself in town though he had absolutely no idea of how he managed to arrive in such a place for he had not climbed any stairs. Nonetheless, he angrily stomped around, ignoring the few Elves who stared at him with intrigue and curiosity. He only stopped when he reached a fountain and had realised that Ori was attempting to catch up with him. If it wouldn't have been for that and the fact that there were barely any Elves around, Kíli would have continued probably until he found a way out of the Elven city.

"Where were you going?" Ori asked after he finally regained his breath, "You seemed so angry earlier—"

"I was." Kíli replied dryly, "They were all acting insensitively and were being selfish."

"Honestly," Ori began, "I don't think you're in much of a position to be criticising them about selfishness."

"Did you come here to nag me?" Kíli frowned, "Because, if you did, save your breath and leave now."

"I'm sorry Kíli," Ori apologized, "I was just worried. I didn't mean to bother you."

Exasperatedly, Kíli sat against the fountain with a sigh, "I know." He mumbled, "I don't mean to be this rude."

"You're bothered, it's understandable." Ori smiled.

"No it's not." The Dwarf prince pouted, "I can't stand to see Bilbo suffering so much and I know it's affecting me, I see it in the way I act, but, for some reason, you're completely fine!"

"Well that's because you're closer to Bilbo than I am." Ori said, taking a seat next to his friend, "Don't get me wrong, I still like Bilbo and have forgiven him for what he did but, let's face it, he was practically your _aunt_ at some point."

"Then…" Kíli paused, thinking for a moment and then looking at the young scribe, "Then if Bilbo wasn't all that important to you, why did you come with me on this journey?"

Ori opened his mouth to answer immediately though, for some reason, he closed his mouth and considered the answer he was about to give for a moment. "I came because you asked me to." Ori answered with a small smile and a faint blush.

"I'm not sure I understand…" the prince admitted.

And, to answer his question without having to word it, Ori quickly kissed Kíli's cheek and retracted into a little ball. Meanwhile, Kíli stared at the nothingness before him with a stunned expression as if he was still trying to assess what Ori had meant.

"Of for the love of all that is heavenly, he loves you!" An Elf yelled from a window of a building facing the fountain.

"Now kiss!" Another Elf, a woman this time, cheered.

"Wha—I hardly think it appropriate to—" Ori began but was interrupted by Kíli.

"After all the gloom and sadness occurring," he said, almost wisely, "I think we should allow ourselves a minimum of happiness as to mend the darkness."

Thus, they shared a kiss and the Elves of Mirkwood in the immediate area who had dared spy on the Dwarves all cheered merrily. They were truly odd folks.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So, who saw the Kili x Ori coming up? xD**
> 
> **I know one of you did lol And I remember she asked me about it and I was totally like: "Yeah no, I don't really like 'em together" but I totally doooo xP Oh, I also want to say that the Kili x Ori was planed from the start lol So I didn't randomly add that in! IT WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN!**
> 
> **Bagginshield next chapter :D**


	10. Cry with Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Do you want to know why this came out before late June?**
> 
> **Because this wonderful artist called SeniorPotato on Deviantart made a fan art for this story (and I had started to work on it during my lunch hours and photographie class)**
> 
> **There'll be a link in my profile to those who want to see the beautiful piece! I swear, the facial expression is my favourite *_***
> 
> **Anyways, seriously, DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING UNTIL LATE JUNE! I SWEAR! Disregard the two other chapters I posted saying nothing will pop up until late June, this is for real this time! I swear! No lie! And don't even think I'm going to work on it during the weekend because I'm actually busy! I am! I swear!**
> 
> **But yeah, this chapter is dedicated to SeniorPotato for her awesome fanart :D For those of you who were dying on the inside because they thought late June was too far away, go thank the beegeezus out of her for inspiring me to finish this chapter long before then!**
> 
> **Now, ENJOY! Review and fav if you liked :D Tell me about what you thought about SeniorPotato's art! ;P**
> 
> * * *
> 
> **PS: When I first saw the picture, it took me forever to realise it was inspired by this story even if it's pretty obvious right off the bat lol**
> 
> **PSS: SeniorPotato, awesome user name xP**
> 
> * * *

Wandering the Halls of Thranduil, Thorin tried to distract his mind with other things than the red mark on his neck. The fingers had clasped so tightly, he never would have imagined that – no. He didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to remember it more than he already had. But then, he couldn't help it much. Without wanting it to, his hand constantly wandered to the mark and caressed it while sorrow overtook his heart. In a fit of madness, Bilbo Baggins, the lovable, fragile Hobbit, had attempted to take away his life. He had remembered the rage within in glazed eyes as they frowned in his direction while he shouted obscenities about thieving. However, the more Thorin thought about it, the more he reckoned that maybe Bilbo had been referring to _stealing his heart_ again rather than a concrete object thus making him a _thief_ in that sense.

 _Does that mean that he might still love me…?_ Thorin thought to himself, _After all the cruel things I have said and done to him, he might still have some love in his heart that he desperately wanted to keep from growing? Was that it? Is the love we once shared not truly forsaken?_

His train of thought was soon interrupted when he realised that he had completely lost himself in the rooted castle's halls. He couldn't recognize any of his surroundings which worried him because he feared that he might have stumbled into the section that had been made forbidden to him and his kin. The Dwarf King cursed his horrible sense of direction and attempted to retrace his steps but he only lost himself even more.

After a moment of hopelessly wandering about, Thorin decided that perhaps he should stay where he was and wait until an Elf would pass by to ask for directions. However, asking for help to those he hated with a passion was unspeakable and the idea was soon rejected. He resolved to try to find his way again for he would eventually find the way, though he hoped that he would not be doomed to stumble upon Bilbo's now guarded room.

Fortunately (or not, Thorin wasn't sure), the Dwarf King found the Elven King, Thranduil, rather than the forbidden room. He was met with an icy glare which was potentially meant to scare him away, though it evidently failed. "What are you doing here?" Thranduil asked and Thorin flinched thinking that he might have wandered too close to the Hobbit's room, "Have I not forbidden you to approach him?"

"I don't see his room." He stated, folding his arms defiantly over his chest.

"Do not play the fool lest you risk the repercussions of summoning my anger!" the Elf King hissed, "You are too close to his whereabouts for my liking! I have forbidden you from coming into proximity of him!"

Thorin considered responding with a snarky manner but decided against it. The Elven King was evidently on edge and seemed bothered about something – _hopefully not concerning the Hobbit…_ Thorin thought.

"I got lost…" he admitted after a moment, nonetheless he tried to appear as though it wasn't something embarrassing.

"Of course you did." Thranduil snorted, not believing the Dwarf for a second.

Thorin rolled his eyes, "How's the Hobbit?" he asked and he couldn't resist the concern he felt from pervading his tone.

"I fail to see why I should inform you." Thranduil replied dryly.

"May I remind you that I was the one who carried him!" Thorin growled rhetorically, "Forget what happened so many years ago! I was the one who took him to you while carelessly ignoring the dangers of your cursed forest! I deserve to know!"

"Under the pretext of heroically risking your life and, consequently, his?" Thranduil mocked condescendingly, "I was the one who saved the both of you from the spiders, healed his wound, saved him for death and I am also the one currently nursing him back to health. Evidently, I have done more than you."

"You _can't_ keep this information from me!" the Dwarf King persisted.

"I can and I will." Thranduil said stoically, "Now return to your people and abandon this folly of ever nearing Bilbo Baggins ever again."

"What are you going to do, keep him in Mirkwood forever?" Thorin growled defiantly.

"Most likely." Thranduil answered and he was oddly serious. "Based off his current condition, Bilbo Baggins seemed to be trapped in a stage of madness though he attempts to hide it. As a concerned friend, I will not allow him to return home if he may attempt to end his life anew. Are you happy now, Thorin Oakenshield? Are you happy that you have finally gotten your answers?"

But Thorin didn't answer. He only stared pass the Elven King to where he thought Bilbo's room was as his heart throbbed horribly.

"You speak of love," Thranduil said after a moment, "And I know not whether it is truly genuine or not, but, if it is, you will want to do what is best for Bilbo Baggins. If you truly do love him like you claim, regardless of the spiteful acts of the past, you will leave him in my care and you will not attempt to see him any further. Seeing you would only make him suffer."

* * *

A month passed in Mirkwood. Thorin had decided to send Dori, Bombur and Dwalin to inform the Daín of their whereabouts and that they would return soon. During that month, Kíli and Ori had been permitted to visit Bilbo with Thranduil's consent. They explained to him that the others weren't angry with him anymore and wished to visit him as well. After a bit of convincing, Bilbo finally agreed to seeing the others but gradually so. Each day a new Dwarf would be allowed to visit the Hobbit – at the exception of Thorin who only asked for information in regards to his condition.

"He's not as bony as he was before," Gloín said joyfully, "The Elves have been feeding him well."

"Can't say the same for us though!" Bofur laughed.

"And what about his mental state?" the Dwarf King asked, "Does he show any signs of…madness?"

Whenever the asked the mentioned question, the company always seemed to become incredibly uneasy. They always shared a look amongst themselves before one of them built the courage to answer Thorin.

"He seems fine…" Fíli said slowly, "But there always seems to be something… _off_ about him. His eyes are always darting around the room, he almost seems nervous, and, sometimes, he spaces out completely."

"But he's getting better!" Someone would always add quickly. The company would then agree with the declaration and announce positive facts about the Hobbit's fitness and returning strength. They would also retell some of the funny conversations they shared and the loud laughs uttered but none of them knew that, even though Thorin was pleased to hear about his love's high spirits, it also wounded him because he wasn't there to share them as well. He felt horribly excluded but supposed he did deserve it, though he never complained. Thorin also wondered if the Hobbit ever made mention of it but that too was kept to himself. However, Dwalin, being the King's close friend, noticed what preoccupied Thorin and whenever the group had divided into smaller pairings for idle chatter, he would slip by and tell him: "He has yet to speak of you."

Finally, a few days after receiving a missive from Daín relating the Kingdom's condition and such, Bilbo had finally asked about Thorin. The company had been so over joyed by the mention of their leader that they could barely keep their containment in check. They sat on their hands and bit their lips to keep from exploding in joy and bouncing around gleefully.

"Is…Is _he_ still here, in Mirkwood?" he had asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes." Kíli had answered quickly and dryly in order to keep a grin from appearing on his face.

And that had been the end of the conversation in his regards. Nonetheless, when the company had been ushered from the room, they ran back to their leader shouting and skipping in pure joy. Thorin could finally mend the wound he had created and make amends to Bilbo. However, the Hobbit had only wished to speak Thorin two weeks after mentioning him to the company, when Daín had sent another letter pressuring the true monarch to return immediately. It had been Thranduil, who had avoided seeing the company all together since their arrival, that had approached him on the matter.

The Elven King was evidently displeased with Bilbo's request but couldn't deny him whatever it was he wanted, regardless of his own opinion. "He wishes to see you." Thranduil declared icily. Thorin's heart had nearly leapt out of his chest though he remained composed as he stood. And before he left, he quickly added; "Keep in mind that if you ever hurt him in the slightest bit, you will regret it dearly."

Thus, he headed down the halls and, as always, lost his way twice before noticing the two guards stationed in front of the door. He was about to open the door when one of them moved his lance in front of him, blocking the way. "Knock." He said.

Thorin glared at him though he still complied, gently knocking on the door.

"Call for him." The other ordered.

"What? Why?" Thorin hissed quietly.

"Just do it." The two said in unison and bared access to the door with both of their lances.

He sighed deeply before knocking again, "Bilbo?" he asked dully, "Can…can I come in?"

He heard a squeak from the other side of the door and some agitated shuffling which caused a smile to appear on his face. "N-no! I mean—uhh—I don't…yes! No! Wait I—"

"Bilbo?" he repeated in a confused manner, reaching for the knob, "Is something—"

He only managed to twist it before the Hobbit slammed himself against the door, keeping it from opening. "I changed my mind!" he blurted out nervously, "Good morning! Good day! Good night! You may leave now!"

"Wait! Bilbo—" Thorin cried out in desperation, "Please, let me—"

"Hey! You heard him!" One of the guards said, forcing Thorin away from the door with his lance, "Leave. He changed his mind."

"No! No! Bilbo!" Thorin persisted agitatedly, he pushed pass the guards and slammed his fists against the door, "Bilbo! Please! Please let me in! I need to speak with you!"

"Stop that!" The other guard hissed while pointing his lance in the Dwarf's direction, though Thorin didn't allow himself to be intimidated.

He grabbed the guard's weapon, ripping it from its grasp and landing a solid blow on his helmet. The hit had been powerful enough to knock the guard unconscious and though the repercussions of his act would have tormented him at that very moment, Thorin was desperate. With a few swift moves, dodging the remaining guard's swings, the Dwarf King was able to win the battle in the near same manner. He threw the lance on the ground and made way for the door, stepping over the unconscious guards without a care. Attempting to twist the doorknob again but to no veil, Thorin wondered why it had devastated him to the point it did.

The Dwarf King crumbled to his knees, pressing his forehead against the wooden plank that kept him away from the Hobbit he had loved yet mistreated. "Bilbo…" he moaned, his voice choked, "Bilbo…open the door…please…"

There was no answer.

"I'm sorry Bilbo…" he continued gently yet sorrowfully, "I'm so sorry…I've not treated you properly…I've failed you as a friend and a lover…"

Still no answer, but now the guards were starting to regain consciousness which was to be expected.

"I hope you can hear me…" he muttered and paused when he saw something drip unto the floor. It had taken a moment for Thorin to realise that he was crying; it had been so long since he had allowed himself to shed tears – the last time must have been when Frerin had died. And though he would normally have felt ashamed about it, he laughed, "Oh wow…" he breathed pathetically with a sad smile, pressing his forehead harder against the door, "I'm crying…"

Nothing.

Not that he was expecting anything at that point.

"I'm so sorry Bilbo…" he said after a moment; he could hear the guards shuffling around behind him and knew that he didn't have much time left. "I need to go now…Erebor needs me and I don't think Thranduil will allow me to stay for much longer…But before I go, I needed to tell you that I still love you…I never stopped loving you, no matter how angry I got. I was just stupid, consumed by greed and if I could change the way I treated you, if I could erase the things I said to the peril of my throne and the Arkenstone, I don't think I'd hesitate to do so for a second."

And then, Thorin got back onto his feet, whipped the tears from his cheeks and left, ignoring the Elven guards yelling at him who-knows-what – he wasn't listening. In a sense, his heart felt lighter for he had finally told Bilbo what he had been unable to declare due to his status. He had been able to be _honest_ to himself and to the one he had hurt. However, his heart still felt horribly heavy for the only person who mattered at that point had not responded to his cries and pleas. Whether he wanted to or not, Thorin would have to return to Erebor and govern his Kingdom anew knowing full well that he had condemned the best thing that had ever happened to him long ago when he had returned home after sixty years of exile.

Though, perhaps the Dwarf King would have felt differently if he had made better use of his ears. If he would have been more quiet, he would have heard Bilbo slipping onto his knees with him from the other side, and pressing his forehead approximately where his had been against the door. He would have also heard the Hobbit cry with him and press his hand longingly against the wood that separated them.

But Thorin had not and that made all the difference.


	11. Don't leave Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Alright, I don't think the wait was that bad this time xD**
> 
> **Anyways, good news, I'm basically done everything I had to finish in order to write this chapter so who really knows if you're going to have to wait insane amounts of time for the next chapter xDD**
> 
> **The story is also coming to an end (about 3 - 5 chapters left...more 3 than 5, just saying xP) so...yeah xP**
> 
> **At this point I'd like to remind the world that I'm open to prompts and things like that (especially smutty ones hurhurhur) so if you want me to write anything or think that I might be interested in your idea, send it to meeee!**
> 
> **Thanks :D**
> 
> **Now ENJOY! Fav and review if you liked, tell me about your thoughts or school me about the wait periods!**
> 
> * * *
> 
> **PS: Anyone else pissed that Game of Thrones isn't airing an episode tonight?**
> 
> **PSS: Did anyone notice that, each chapter, the title only has 3 words? xD**
> 
> **PSSS: Sorry for the short chapter D:**
> 
> * * *

"Thorin…" Dwalin said upon seeing his King return to the company, he also, subconsciously, got to his feet – as did the other Dwarves, "How did it go…?"

Thorin eyes were glued to the floor and there had been a long moment of silence before he raised them. His distraught appearance spoke for itself and instead of elaborating on what occurred, he spoke of something else. "I can no longer push away my return to Erebor," he said, "And though I know some of you wish to stay for longer, some of you do not have that luxury. Dwalin, Balin, Fíli, Oín and Gloín, you will accompany me tomorrow for the return journey."

"Wait…" Kíli said, peeling himself away from Ori, "What about me…? I don't have to go?"

Thorin smiled bitterly, "Would you really have really followed me if I ordered you to?"

"Not really…" Kíli admitted in a mumble.

"Exactly," Thorin sighed, "Thankfully, you're not my heir and so I don't have to order Dwalin to knock you out and help me drag you back to Erebor. If you want, you can stay here until Thranduil and or Bilbo dismisses you or come back with me," then he addressed the rest of the Dwarves, "the same goes for the rest of you."

There was a dull silence for a moment and it didn't take long for the King to conclude that he would be returning only with the people he named. "Very well," Thorin said, "Before I leave, all I ask is that you send Erebor a letter announcing your return when you are ready to do so." They all nodded simultaneously and thus their conversation ended.

The rest of the day seemed to pass by in an instant. Thorin, Dwalin, Balin, Oín, Gloín and Fíli spent a good portion of it preparing their things and organising their belongings. They were quiet for the most part, chatting only when those staying approached them but never mentioning Bilbo. It had been clear to all of them, by Thorin's distracted state, that the meeting had not necessarily gone well. None of them knew that Bilbo had refused seeing him at the last second and none of them knew that their stone-faced leader crumbled to bits upon being neglected.

The wounds were still fresh for Thorin. The feelings he had felt then and the door separating he from Bilbo were permanently etched in his mind forever. A part of him wanted to blame the Elves – specifically Thranduil – but the other part knew that it was only because he didn't want to blame himself. Nonetheless, he still loathed leaving Bilbo in Thranduil's care but, as much as he hated to admit it, the Elf-King was taking better care of the Hobbit than he ever could. Elves were known for excelling in the medical arts and so Thorin was partially comforted knowing that Bilbo would make a speedy and proper recovery – though he would never be permitted to see the positive change; Thranduil would make sure of it.

That night, Thorin didn't sleep. Perhaps one of the reasons was the insufferable snoring of his company – notably Bombur who breathed in night bugs daring to flutter above his face. However, he knew that his restlessness was also caused by the anxiety he felt towards leaving. He would be abandoning Bilbo again – though in good company this time – and would have to face the kingdom to which he lied. He had told them that he would discuss trading opportunities with Elrond, bring back Kíli and Ori who had caused quite a ruckus in their parting, and yet he would have done none of those things. How would he explain everything he had failed to do as to mask the fact that he had chased after one the kingdom of Erebor considered the worst traitor alive? Moreover, if he succeeded, could he change the public's opinion in regards to Bilbo as to give the latter possibility to return if he so desired it? Granted, the possibilities of Bilbo wanting to return were very small but still plausible…weren't they?

When the sun arose, Thorin found that the fact he hadn't slept wasn't incapacitating him much. He was surprised that Thranduil hadn't passed by to evict him immediately from his Halls but brushed the thought away; it didn't matter anymore. He and the others packed their things and brought them to the front gates where they were met with their ponies. The guards present explained that Thranduil had had them fetched some time after they had first arrived and kept them well fed. Thorin thanked them and, along with the others, prepared the beasts they needed and left the others for when the rest of the company would return. Then, they bid each other farewell.

"Take good care of Bilbo." Fíli told Kíli as he hugged him tightly. Then he placed a hand on Ori's shoulder as he addressed him, "And make sure my brother doesn't do anything stupid."

"Hey!"

"I will." Ori smiled.

"Bofur and Dori," Thorin said causing the two named to jolt, "I trust I can leave you both in charge of orchestrating your own return?"

"Yes milord." Dori assured with a deep bow.

"You needn't worry, Thorin," Bofur grinned familiarly, "We'll be just fine and we'll send you letters about Bilbo's condition whenever we can."

"That wouldn't be wise…" Thorin mumbled grimly, "The kingdom still views Bilbo as a traitor; it could be bad for my image if these letters were ever intercepted."

"Oh…" Bofur hummed disappointedly, "I suppose we can tell you everything when we return…"

"Not necessarily," Fíli declared as he imposed himself in the conversation, "When Kíli and I were lads, we invented our own language so we could say certain things and complain without being schooled. Kíli can write the letters in our made up language and I can read them."

"That…that would be good…" Thorin smiled softly, "thank you."

"It's time to go, Thorin." Balin declared as he mounted his pony, "we must leave Mirkwood before the night falls or else we'll be prey to its dangerous creatures."

"Right," Thorin nodded, and then he turned his gaze to the portion of the company he was abandoning. He beheld them once more before nodding to them in approval and climbing on his pony's saddle. "I will send word from Erebor when we arrive. If anything important happens in which I require your immediate return, I will send word."

"Sounds good." Bofur said cheerfully.

"Swell." Dori added quickly, glaring at Bofur who seemed to be hogging the role of temporary leader, "We'll be sure to return as quickly as possible if need be."

"Good," Thorin approved, then he looked specifically at Kíli, "You, behave."

"I will, I will, I will!" he growled in slight annoyance, "it's not as though I'll burn down Mirkwood while you're gone!"

And with that and a short smirk, Thorin ordered his pony to advance towards the opening gates. The others followed, forcing themselves not to look back or show any signs of regret but couldn't stop themselves from feeling it. More than anything, they hoped Bilbo would heal and be well ag—

"Wait!"

Thorin jerked his head back immediately, recognizing the voice, as his heart sped and drummed loudly. Running in their direction was a very thin and sickly Hobbit who was barely able to stay on his feet. Though they were still faraway from each other, Thorin could clearly see the desperate look on the other's face and couldn't help but feel a certain inkling of hope.

"Wait!" He begged between gasps, "Don't g—" But he tripped and fell before he could finish his sentence.

"Bilbo!" Thorin immediately jumped from his pony's back and ran towards the fragile Hobbit, but the other members of the company had already helped him up by the time Thorin had gotten to him. They stared at each other for a moment and the Dwarf King felt incline to simply touch the object of his affection but retained himself – he was not deserving of touching Bilbo after having mistreated him. "A-are you alright?" he asked instead.

"I—" but choked, Bilbo shut his mouth immediately. It was clear that the smaller Hobbit didn't want to cry even though he was so close to just bursting into tears. There was a long silence, in which Bilbo tried to gather his courage and when he thought he was ready, he looked at Thorin with great determination but crumbled to pieces upon having his gaze returned and cried. Upon seeing Bilbo so distraught, Thorin ignored the fact that he didn't deserve to touch Bilbo and gathered him into his arms.

The Hobbit was still very thin though there was a great amelioration from when they first met again over a month ago. He still fit perfectly against his chest and still gave Thorin the sensation that he was now complete. And thus they stayed in each other's embrace for a moment, surrounded by their friends who smiled at them warmly before Bilbo managed to recompose himself.

"I-I don't want you to leave…" Bilbo sobbed, "Don-n't leave m-me…"

"If that's what you truly wish," Thorin whispered, "Then I won't. I'll stay by your side until you tell me to leave."

"I don't w-want you to leave…" Bilbo repeated, looking up at Thorin, "Even if I t-tell you that I d-don't want t-to see you, I don't want you to l-leave."

"…I understand…" Thorin sighed, his grip around the little Hobbit tightened as he breathed in his sweet sent.

And for a long moment subsequent to that last statement, they stayed in each other's arms. Thorin forgot about Erebor and having to return to his kingly duties and stayed by Bilbo's side. And no matter what anyone said, no one could convince him to stray away from his Bilbo for he had been given the chance to mend what they once had and not Erebor or the Arkenstone would stop him from doing so.


	12. You'll be Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So I think declaring that there are 2 more chapters left doesn't seemed to be too far fetched xP**
> 
> **I've been telling a few of you that there would be an update this weekend and there most likely will be xP See, I'm going to visit my grandparents which means 4 hours in a car with not much to do.**
> 
> **So what better way to spend those 4 hours then by writing? :D**
> 
> **Since it's 4 hours to and fro thus resulting in a total of 8 hours with nothing to do, I might have two chapters down by the time I come back home OR one. Either way, this story is approaching to a speedy (not really) end xP**
> 
> **All I need to do now is find another story to tell but it's not time to worry about that yet lol**
> 
> **NOW LADIES, I hope you're not lactose intolerant because here comes the cheese :D**
> 
> **ENJOY! Like and review if you enjoyed yourself :D I love hearing from you lol**
> 
> * * *

The reconciliation with Thorin did great things in improving Bilbo's state of mind. His obsession with the Ring lessened greatly, it was almost absent from his mind now that he had found his lover once again. Happiness, a feeling that he had been lacking for a long time, gradually returned with great strength. The moment Thorin had put Bilbo before his kingdom was the instant marking the beginning of his road to recovery. And the Ring knew this.

It was displeased – angered. All of its hard work to return to its original master had been thrown in the gutter due to Bilbo's remaining sanity and goodness. Without knowing it, Bilbo had begun distancing himself from the Ring and the more time he would spend away from it, the less influence it would have on him. What made things worse for the Ring was that there were no beings around that would be easily tainted by its malevolence. However, it knew that there was still some hope for Bilbo was still weak and had just begun recovering. It could still return home. Abandoning its sneaky torments for it could not afford to take its time; it decided to attack Bilbo violently in his sleep for it was then that he would be most vulnerable.

And after Bilbo reconciled with Thorin and spent most of the day by his side, they returned to his chambers to sleep. They cuddled for a moment; Bilbo resting his head upon Thorin's broad chest as the latter stroked his hair soothingly and whispered words of comfort and love. Eventually they fell into the dream world which was when the Ring decided to strike. It plagued the Hobbit with horrible night terrors, pervading his mind, whispering hauntingly the name of the place to which it wished to venture.

_Dol Guldur…_

_Dol Guldur…_

_**DOL GULDUR!** _

With a shriek, Bilbo was ripped from his sleep, panting heavily. Thorin awoke seconds after he, almost as agitated as the smaller creature, "Bilbo, what is it?" he asked hurriedly.

"I-I…" Bilbo stuttered between heavy pants.

"Calm down," Thorin ushered calmly, "Breathe slowly…" the Hobbit's frantic breathing slowly relaxed and became more controlled as Thorin helped to put the former's anxiety at ease, "There, that's it…Now what is it?"

"I…I need to go…" Bilbo declared.

He jumped out of bed and ran for his old clothes resting on the desk in his room in which the hid the Ring when he was suddenly captured by strong arms. At that moment, the Ring sensed Bilbo's ambition fade and so increased his torments. Openly, it started whispering the name of the cursed fortress knowing well that the Hobbit was the only one who could hear it.

_Dol Gulduir…_

_Dol Guldur…_

_Dol Guldur…_

"I know! I know! Stop it!" Bilbo screamed suddenly and gripped his head. "Just stop! Just shut up!"

"Bilbo—"

"I said _stop!_ " Bilbo shouted and shoved the thing that was holding him back. He then turned away, wanting to grab the Ring when he heard the loud smack of Thorin hitting the ground. It snapped him back into reality in an instant. He spun on himself and stared wide eyed as the Dwarf King slowly sat up, rubbing the back of his head while moaning in pain. "T-Thorin…"

"Bilbo…" Thorin cut in as he got to his feet, "What's happening? What's got you so agitated? Tell me and I'll help you as best as I can…"

Bilbo stayed quiet, as if stunned by his own actions, until he noticed the latter's hand that had been massaging his head or checking for a bump, dropped to his neck as if wanting to stroke it but forcefully continued as to hang limply against his side. However, Bilbo's gaze hadn't followed Thorin's hand the entire way; it had stopped when he had noticed the odd faded bruises on his neck. Then, he stared at them in a sort of trance as if he was trying to remember how it happened even though he was sure he had not been present when it happened.

But the Ring knew of the events that had happened relating to the bruises on the Dwarf King's neck. It had been the one to give Bilbo the power necessary to overcome the wraith's poison and attack Thorin. Consequently, in lending its strength, the wound on Thorin's neck was made near permanent for the dark power had burned a mark into his skin. Thus, due to being in a compromising situation and desperate to return Bilbo to his original state of depression, the Ring used its magik to resurface the memory.

"Bilbo?"

Suddenly, a flash of images blinded Bilbo's sight. It had taken him a moment to realise that it was the memory of how he had arrived to Thranduil's Halls and not some random vision. He remembered Oín observing his wounds and applying a certain herb in the hopes of delaying the poison. Then, Thorin grabbed him and ran through Mirkwood forest carelessly in the distressed attempt to find a way to save him. But spiders descended, surrounding them and seemingly condemning them until Elves, conveniently lead by their king, appeared and massacred them in an instant. Thorin then begged the Elven King to save Bilbo. There was a short argument but the Elf eventually walked to Bilbo's side and investigated the plague. He remembered Thranduil ordering the Dwarf King to remove Bilbo's shirt as to allow him to begin mending the poison from his body. It was at that moment that the Hobbit remembered feeling an intense sensation of rage at the thought of Thorin wanting to take away his ring. Thus, governed by fury, his hands shot up and his fingers tangled themselves around the Dwarf's neck, squeezing ever so tightly. He remembered wanting to kill Thorin before being knocked out.

"Oh…dear gods…" Bilbo breathed exasperatedly as his eyes watered and his knees gave in, "What…have I done…?"

"Bilbo!" Thorin cried, throwing himself at the despairing Hobbit. He gathered him into his arms as the latter began to cry and he brushed his hair soothingly, "Mahal be praised, tell me, what's wrong?"

"You're neck…" Bilbo sobbed pathetically, "You're neck…oh dear gods what have I done…?"

_Dol Guldur…_

"I'm horrible…" he breathed.

"No, don't hold yourself accountable for that," Thorin begged frantically, tightening his grip around Bilbo's frail body, "It's happened over a month ago. I don't understand why the mark is still present but you were delusional and it's in the past now…"

"You don't understand…" Bilbo whined.

_Dol Guldur…_

"I remember it now…" he hiccupped, "And I remember…I…I remember…"

_Dol Guldur…_

"…wanting to kill you…" he choked.

_Dol Guldur…_

A sort of insanity seemingly birthed itself within the core of Bilbo which was apparent to Thorin who had observed the change in his eyes. He shrank back slightly but not unnoticeable to Bilbo who's mind was crumbling once more.

_Dol Guldur…_

"See!" He shrieked jumping to his feet, "I'm a monster and even you think so!"

_Dol Guldur…_

"No! Bilbo I—"

_Dol Guldur…_

"You moved away!" Bilbo cried, "You moved away because…because I'm a monster! And you're not wrong!" the insanity increased, "I mean, look at me! I'm a bony mess! A mess! Ha!" he stared at his hands with a sort of craze, "Hardly respectable! Hypocritical even!"

_Dol Guldur…_

"Bilbo—"

"I cried, moaned and writhed in my own blood and filth for months – maybe years! I don't really remember, time was lost on me…" he chuckled maniacally, "And when my lover, my king, reunites with me and tries to save my life, I attempt murder! Ha! Hypocritical!"

_Dol Guldur…_

"Bilbo, please stop—"

_Dol Guldur…_

"I don't deserve to live…" Bilbo muttered grimly, his horrific smile dropping to a deep frown, "I tried to murder the one I love…I should die…I should—"

_Dol Gul—_

"Bilbo!" Thorin snapped grabbing Bilbo, "For the love of Mahal! Shut up! Stop spewing this nonsense about death!"

The Hobbit's eyes widened, shocked by the lack of anger in Thorin's voice. Though he did sound angry, it was evident to him that the Dwarf King was hurt more than anything.

"You were sick – poisoned!" Thorin growled, resisting the urge to shake him, "And most people afflicted end up delusional! You were dying, you were panicked, it's only normal that you would have attacked me! And even if you feel guilt and regret in regards to what you've done, remember what I've put you through for so many years! Remember the many times I made you cry and caused you heart ache when I banned you from Erebor and branded you traitor!" there was a pause during which Thorin's features softened before he continued, "I've been crueller to you then you have been to me, Bilbo. If you've found the kindness in you to forgive a wretch like me, then I am more than positive that I can do the same."

_Dol G—_

"Thorin…" Bilbo gasped as his lower lip quivered. In the next instant, Bilbo had lunged for the Dwarf King and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug that was returned. He sobbed noisily for a long moment before managing to regain himself just enough to speak properly, "Oh Thorin…there's something horribly wrong with me…"

_Dol—_

"I know…" Thorin whispered, "And I'm sorry I was the cause of it…" the Dwarf King then slowly broke apart from Bilbo and looked at him tenderly and smiled as lovingly as he could, "…But even so I'm positive you'll be all right."

_D—_

"Thorin…"

Thus, cupping Bilbo's cheek, Thorin leaned towards him and did something he hadn't done in far too long. He pressed their lips together marking the first kiss they shared since Bilbo was banned and exiled from Erebor ever so long ago. It was passionate, short and sweet and everything Bilbo needed to expel the insanity in his mind and restore hope – hope that, one day, he would get better and, maybe, he would be the Hobbit he once was again.

"Now, it's late," Thorin said, "Let's go back to sleep and tomorrow, we'll confront the day together."

"That would be…" Bilbo paused and smiled brightly, "That would be lovely."


	13. Make a Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Omg we're so close to the end! I can feel it!**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **I'm actually excited for it lol One more chapter to go**
> 
>  
> 
> **NOW ATTENTION ALL REVIEWERS/FOLLOWERS, the last chapter is basically going to resume everything and conclude everything so if there's something you want to know that you don't think I'll mention (like the outcome of K**  
>  **íli and Ori's relationship or something like that) THEN SAY IT! I can't write it if you don't tell me about it.**
> 
>  
> 
>   
> __  
> **THERE WILL BE A WEEK'S WORTH OF WAIT IN ORDER TO GIVE EVERYONE THE TIME TO TELL ME WHAT THEY'D LIKE TO KNOW IN THE FINAL CHAPTER.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Now then, I have to start hunting for another story to write once this one finishes lol**
> 
>  
> 
> **Until then, ENJOY! Like and review if you enjoyed and to tell me what you want to know in the last chapter!**
> 
> * * *
> 
> **PS: WARNING - implied sex (not graphic or anything, it's just implied that it happened)**
> 
> * * *

For the next three days, Thorin and Bilbo spent every second of their time together. Where one would go, the other would follow. It was truly a heart warming sight to behold for the other members of the company for they felt as though they were reliving in the good moments of their shared past. The only difference with their relationship was that it was quieter and Thranduil acted as a sort of overprotective father in regards to Bilbo. Whenever he thought that Thorin was pushing his luck or getting too grabby with the Hobbit – which he never was though the circumstance could easily be interpreted as so – he would intervene and shoot glares of death in the direction of the Dwarf King. However, all of the members of the company knew that their quiet relationship with interruptions by the Elf King wouldn't last. Eventually, when Bilbo was well enough in his mind, the liveliness and the laughter that reigned around them so long ago would return and they would truly be happy again.

And though Balin wanted nothing more than to let the newfound wonderful times continue, there were matters that needed to be addressed sooner rather than later. Thorin was still the King of Erebor and renewing his love with Bilbo would bring great consequences in regards to the public's eyes. The old Dwarf feared an outrageous amount of awe, shock and rage would erupt upon learning that their leader had saved one of the greatest traitors to the kingdom and engaged in a liaison with him. Some of the more delinquent and rowdier Dwarves would inevitably cry out injustice for the criminals they knew and loved were condemned whereas the worse was spared and cherished. The more important Dwarves – the nobles and council members – would doubtlessly discuss of the situation amongst themselves and those who were against Thorin, or simply wished the enrich themselves, would suggest that a new King should be set in place. And no matter what explanations were offered to the population of Erebor, all of the subjects would judge Thorin unfit to rule even if he was the one who reclaimed their home.

Thus, when Elf servants took Bilbo away to bathe in peace, Balin approached his king, asking to speak in private. They retreated to a more secluded area where no curious ears could eavesdrop on their conversation quietly. Though Balin had never made a mention of what it was he wished to address so privately, Thorin had his suspicions for he had thought about the same issues while Bilbo slept against his chest.

"You can't ignore your duties as King forever, Thorin." Balin said wearily, "Daín has asked for your hasty return to Erebor and you can't pretend that making him wait won't cause repercussions. The kingdom is weak for it has just been saved, it needs reconstructing and its population needs an iron-fisted leader to govern them. Without you present, your place on the throne will be threatened. Maybe some power crazed Dwarves will organize a rebelling or the Council will seek to replace you."

"I understand." Thorin responded meekly, almost absent-mindedly, "But I can't leave Bilbo just yet. I promised him that I would stay by his side until he would get better. I promised him that I would help him through each day until he found the strength to do so on his own. I promised to be there for him, Balin."

"You also made a promise to the people of Erebor." Balin reminded, "When you became their King, when the crown was placed upon your head, you promised them that you would lead them back to glory. You said that you would do everything in your power to resurrect Erebor's days of glory. And even before that, before your coronation, when the Dwarves of Erebor were homeless, you promised them an honest ruling when you would take back our home. You promised them so many things, Thorin, and now you're forsaking all of them."

There was a moment of silence. Thorin made a move to speak but quickly shut his mouth. He knew Balin was right and he knew that, when he had kissed Bilbo, he had put himself in a compromising situation. Now he had to choose between the people of Erebor and Bilbo and whatever decision he made, someone would be unhappy.

"I know it's not easy lad," Balin said softly after a moment, "But you fought for Erebor for sixty years, is a Hobbit that you've met three or four years ago really worth sacrificing everything you've strived for?"

"He's not just _some_ Hobbit!" Thorin snapped.

"Thorin, listen to me." Balin retorted immediately, and for the first time, he almost sounded irritated, "I understand that you're in love, I understand that you're willing to sacrifice a lot of things for Bilbo – and, mind you, I'm as fond of him as anyone else is – but you need to understand what it means if you do choose him over your subject."

"I know what it means." Thorin growled, "I'm no fool."

"Then you understand that there's no place for compromise?" Balin asked, "You understand that it's Bilbo or your throne?"

"Of course I do!" Thorin hissed, "But it's not an easy decision to make! You may view it as a simple choice, you might think I should choose the throne, but what you don't know is how I felt during those years I spent governing Erebor!"

"Why don't you enlighten me?" Balin offered.

"When Bilbo left, when I labelled him traitor to the realm and forced him into exile," Thorin began grimly and sadly, "I thought I would be fine. A part of me believe that, at some point, everything would be fine and Bilbo would eventually return. But the other part knew that things couldn't be so simple. Nonetheless, I thought to look on the bright side. I had returned home, I had an abundant amount of gold, many Dwarves were returning and seemed acceptant of my place as their King and the dragon Smaug was dead." Something twinkled in his eyes and a smile immediately spread on his face as he looked at Balin, "But I still felt empty. And that's when I realised, no amount of gold, no prize whatsoever, could replace the hole he left behind when I sent him away."

"Then it seems to me that you've already made your decision." Balin stated.

"Perhaps I have…" Thorin mused, "But I still feel doubt in regards to what I want to do."

"I'll be honest with you Thorin," Balin said with a smile, "In the many decades I've known you, I've never seen you open yourself to me as much as you did just now. Before, I was speaking to you as a counsellor, now I'm speaking to you as a friend. Since someone will be unhappy regardless of whatever you choose to do; do what makes _you_ happy. Whether it's your throne or Bilbo or something completely different, as long as you're happy in the end, that's all that matters."

"Thank you, Balin."

* * *

When Bilbo returned from his bath, Thorin was nowhere in sight. And though he wanted to ask where the Dwarf King had gone to, Fíli and Kíli had immediately jumped to distracting him. The two offered to go on a walk with the Hobbit to which the latter agreed after a short moment's worth of consideration. They waved away, Kíli kissing Ori briefly before they parted – Dori and Nori weren't very pleased – and began their small par court. The beginning of their walk had been very silent regardless of Kíli's endless babbling, until Fíli had decided to enquire on Bilbo's seemingly pensive mood.

"What's on your mind?" he asked, consequently interrupting his brother.

"N-nothing." Bilbo stuttered as he was snapped out of his thoughts.

"It's fine, you can tell us," Fíli smiled.

"I…" Bilbo hesitated, "I was just wondering what Thorin was going to do…a-about Erebor, I mean."

Fíli and Kíli exchanged nervous glances, "I wish we could tell you," Fíli said, "But what he was going to do was annulled when you asked him to stay. We were meant to return to Erebor before but the details on how he was going to approach the court about the events of our trip were unknown to any of us."

"Do…do you think he's going to go back?" Bilbo asked, "To continue being king?"

"I don't know," Fíli sighed, "What's going to happen now is a real mystery to all of us, I suppose."

"But, even if he does," Kíli said with a wink, "I'm sure he's going to find someway to include you in his life and keep you by his side."

Bilbo smiled, "I hope you're right…"

And though Fíli knew that it was impossible for his uncle to keep the throne and Bilbo, he decided it was best not to utter a word about it and leave the Hobbit to his hopeful thinking. Whatever decision was made, all Fíli hoped was that Bilbo's condition wouldn't digress.

* * *

That night, Thorin and Bilbo were very quiet around each other – more than usual. Both were deep in thought; Bilbo was thinking about his fading madness and Thorin was thinking about the decision he would have to make. Though Bilbo should have put his despair aside, leaving it in the past, and Thorin had already made his decision, they were still matters that needed to be thought over in their minds. Bilbo sought to understand how he could have descended into darkness to begin with and Thorin debated whether what he wanted to do would be his best option.

When they entered Bilbo's chambers, Thorin was the one to break silence. "Important decisions will have to be made." He said quietly.

Bilbo nodded in agreement, "Yes…"

"And I would need your help…to decide…" Thorin admitted after a moment.

"Choose the throne!" Bilbo blurted out uncontrollably. Thorin gasped in surprised though remained quiet, expecting an elaboration of some sort to follow, "I…you've been fighting for it for so long…it's rightfully yours and I know how much you love it…choose it. I'll be okay now."

Thorin's lip twitched, at first it was becoming a frown but it soon changed to a smile. Wordlessly, he walked to Bilbo and pressed their lips together as he brushed his bangs from his face. Surprised by the suddenness of it yet pleased, Bilbo responded hesitantly. Soon, the kiss became heated and the Hobbit couldn't repress his moans any longer. Before either of them knew it, they were lying on the Elven bed, kissing each other lustfully as their hands explored the familiar curves of the other's naked body.

**._._.**

Tangled in their limbs, they breathed heavily. There was a sort of satisfaction and happiness in having acted so intimately after so long, but there was also sadness for Bilbo. To him, the love making had meant the last intimate thing they would do until they were permanently separated by Thorin's duty. And though he knew he shouldn't feel sadness or regret in having told Thorin to remain king, he couldn't help it. What made it worse was the stroking of his hair as the Dwarf King gazed at him ever so lovingly with a beautiful smile on his face.

"I'm going to miss you…" Bilbo muttered, "I don't know how I'm going to wake up each day without you by my side, but I'll find a way."

"Oh?" Thorin asked playfully, "And where shall I be going? It must be rather far away and incredibly dangerous if it's meant to keep me from you forever."

"What are you saying?" Bilbo asked confused, "You're returning to Erebor, aren't you?"

"I am." Thorin confirmed, "But that doesn't mean that I'll resume my duties as king. If I'm returning, it's to properly tell the population of the decision I've made, why I've made it and apologize for not being able to live to their expectations."

"But…why…?" Bilbo gasped in shock. "How…? ...why?"

"Because I love you." Thorin smiled, "And I've promised to take care of you, remember? I swore that if I could erase my past deeds to the peril of my throne and the Arkenstone, that I would."

"I…" Bilbo breathed, "I don't know what to say…"

"I don't know either," Thorin admitted, caressing the other's cheek, "Just don't tell me to return to my throne because you're what I have chosen."

Then they shared a kiss and fell asleep, holding each other tightly. The dark clouds hanging above Bilbo had finally started to disperse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Out of total lack of motivation to add one last chapter that wouldn't actually serve a purpose in the story (considering the happy ending is already stated now) I will consider this the last chapter of the story. Sorry to those who wanted one last chapter, but I really can't xP**
> 
> **Thanks for having followed me in this short journey and hope to see you again!**


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